Monday, October 17, 2011

fangs alot!

i am not easily swayed by people’s opinions about anything when it comes to television programm’n…cuz everyone has one and i just ignore most of them by nature…no big whoop!

it’s like when someone (usually of the non homosexual persuasion) thinks they found the perfect person fer me…hmmm…lemme guess why…cuz they’re ummm…GAY?

nothing against old purses...
i dated one fer 4 years

or gossipy fruitcakes
who still bitch ever since they got their pigtails pulled on the playground

but kitten puhleez!…you may say po-tae-toe…but i say fer me...that’s just way to much starch!

i was never a huge fan of Dracula grow’n up…
i like my meat burnt not rare…and bats just creep me out all together

the Count from Sesame Street was just a creepy numerical nightmare

and i was not very coo-coo fer Count Chocula either

but who could resist the vampy campy charms of Grampa Munster…
who i met the year before he Anoka with the old purse i was date’n at the time…and he was still the loveable person he always was (Grampa Munster that is)

the LOST BOYS had the hottest bloodsuckers i remembered grow'n up

Jason Patric was like the dreamy Taylor Lautner of my time…
(minus the pig nose and huge bank account of course)

and Keifer Sutherland was like the Billy idol of bloodsuckers

Bram Stroker's Dracula had the perfect cast portray'n the night stalker...

but hadda ruin it by hire'n this surf'n dude for it
who's annoy'n british accent came off like some west coast wino

since i am still in the dark ages technology wise have’n no cable or internet in my house by choice…i only heard thru the grapevine about this new show called TRUEBLOOD
well it’s in season 4 now i guess…but my good friend Faedre swears i would love it…ya right!

i was sooo over the whole Twilight madness being shoved down my throat...

and Buffy the Vampire Slayer series put me to sleep for the entire run…
so i was hell bent on loath’n yet another vampire fascination…and i refused to watch any downloaded episodes Faedre had for me for the longest time


last xmas…season one was on sale fer 12 bux or somethin’ like that…so instead of lett’n my hard earned hole-in-my-pocket ching ching get slipped into the g-string of some bitchy bar entertainment…

i broke down and bought the damn show and stayed inside all weekend to watch the entire season all the way thru in one sitt’n

and ya know what…(enter the preverbial pun here)

it was FANG-F*CK’N-TASTIC!!!

TRUEBLOOD is the grown-ups answer to TWILIGHT…though i have to say...i feel like i've seen these characters before played first in the 70’s and 80’s

minus the super natural powers and thirst fer blood of course!

without gett’n into too much of the plots…i’ll give ya the visual reasons to watch the seasons

Sookie Stackhouse is the tough as nails waitress who takes no one's crap

who’s sister...25 years ago...would'a been none other than Daisy Duke

Jason Stackhouse is the hot numb skull player brother of Sookie’s...

Zach Morris from "Saved by the Bell" fame was his doppleganger hanger

Bill Compton is the brown haired bloodsucker with a crush on Sookie…

and completely Luke Duke...minus the 10 gallon cap...and 150 yrs older

Eric Northman is the blonde bloodsucker who means business

very much like his ancestor Bo Duke…no duh!

Pamela Swynford De Beaufort is the saucy vamp assistant at Fangtasia

much like Loni Anderson was the secretary runn'n the show at WKRP

Sam Merlotte is the owner and bartender of Merlotte’s…and a shapeshifter

shall we say...ummm...totally “inspired” by Sam Malone from “CHEERS”
come on...the writers just changed a couple letters in his last name fer christ sakes!

Tommy Mickens is Sam Merlotte's shapeshift'n younger brother

think...Bud Bundy with an attitude and a better stylist

Arlene Fowler is the feisty red headed waitress with the “kiss my grits” attitude…

just like the feisty red head beehived "kiss my grits" originator waitress

Tara Thornton is the waitress with all the bad luck and breakdowns…

so very very Vera Gorman…but with a weave and more meat on her bones
and non caucasian of broaden the demographic dollars

Lafayette Reynolds is the non bloodsuck'n non caucasian fruit roll-up cook

he's Flip Wilson without the wigs and ribbons and way more 'roids

Terry Bellefleur is the hick with a heart and top chef at Merlotte’s…

he’s the equivalent to Mel Sharples minus the gut and orangutan arms

Hoyt Fortenberry is the love sick mama’s boy with a hard-on fer Jessica…

you may remember his older brother Meathead from “All in the Family”

Jessica Hamby is the red headed whiney host at Merlotte’s…

over peroxide her hair and you get Gloria from “All in the Family”

Maxine Fortenberry is the loud-mouth-in-yer-face mother of Hoyt's

just like the fabulous out spoken Roseanne was fer 8 seasons years ago

Jesus Velasquez is the token hot tamale candy striper…who's a witch...
he can come across my boarders anytime!

AC Slater was his other cuz'n with a green card...i'm sure of it

Alcide Herveaux is the hunky werewolf with a HUGE…appetite for his x

here's one where he's wear'n a shirt....grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrravey train!

off hand though...i can’t think of any tv guy from years past that he could'a been…so how's about just look’n at him one more time huh!

Detective Andy Bellefleur is the drunk bumbling cop want'n to be the hero
who ends up bein' one and becomes the sheriff

hmmm....ain't that the same thing Roscoe P Coltrane wanted years ago?

Sheriff Bud Dearborne is the the head of the law enforcement center...

much like Larry was with his 2 other brothers from “Newhart” fame…
exact same person with the exact same personality…just a different hat!

i just finished with season 3 and in need of another feed’n…but i will wait til the xmas season to get it on sale (unless some kacklin' kitten out there read'n this is wonder'n what to get me this year...wants to put this in my stock'n...*wink*wink*)

i won’t push it on anyone…i’ll just say…if yer look’n fer somethin’ to “sink yer teeth into” (sorry had to throw in one last one)…TRUE BLOOD is THEE show that covers everything for everyone…from race to religion…sexual preference…to sexual perversions…from the young and the old…to the skinny and the bold!

so thanx alot Faedre…you were right…this time

but anyone else try’n to tell me that i’ll love this show or that show…get in line…and get off my dress!

No comments:

Post a Comment