Monday, January 16, 2012


to tell you the truth…this is my least fav-o-rit muscle group to work on when sweat’n it out at the gym

sure it’s the core that keeps you together and in good posture…

and many out there would probably feel much better about themselves if they could achieve…at the very least…less baggage to carry around their waistline

we’ve been fascinated and fixated on achieve’n that merely impossible perfectional abs of steel thanx to market’n gimmicks and undergarment ads

tell’n us that we can go from flab…

to fab…in mere minutes a day…doin like a million sit-ups

yea…reality check!…the only people able to devote this sorta time and effort...are narcissistically untouchable mr. bubble models

and equally unbelievabley sizzle'n werewolves

no time to make it to the gym? problem!

corporations have been invent'n ways to cheat the heat of a work-out regime to get that toned torso ever since the early 16th century…
(see kittens...even a creepy middled aged pygmy man in a shirley temple wig and hosiery can look incredibly attractive with one of these suckers on)

women…and apparently their female offspring were deemed unloveable unless they could shove their stomach into a beautifully tailored cage of steel to achieve that perfect waistline and trimmed tummy

i say…that’s a crock of shit!

you wanna get a simple…easily attainable ab work-out on the comfort of yer own couch without all those messy power drinks or clunky roll out gyms? can always spend yer money on one of these dust collectors

but Jane Fonda will have nothing to do with this production

fer truly professional results...all you need to do is watch the recently revived drunken overtures and drug addicted antics of the best british comedy ever known to the human race…

starr’n Jennifer Saunders as the vivacious...pill popp’n...Lacroix obsessed...high profile international PR guru and mother...
Edwina Monsoon who changed her name to "Edina" but known also as "Eddy"...who is always hopelessly cling'n onto her youth and beauty by try'n whatever bizzare fad she can get her hands onto...while sipp'n the sauce...and the occasional chemical enhancements to get thru the day

and Joanne Lumley as the beehived...chain smoke'n...coke sniff’n...
drunken magazine editor...harlet and former glamour model
Eurydice Colette Clytemnestra Dido Bathsheba Rabelais Patricia Cocteau Stone known also as "Patsy" or "Pats" for ex Bond girl and Eddy's schoolmate and best friend...enabler and codependent to Eddy's additions

together their boozy bitch slaps are like a warm hug on a cold winters nite
and will keep ya cacklin' like crazy til the cows come home...and break down yer belly fat like a bush fire on a hot summer's nite

with Julia Sawalha as Eddy's simply dressed and level headed daughter
Saffron...also known as "Saffy"..."sweety darling"...or "bitch troll from hell" Patsy so affectionately refers to her...Saffy is the voice of reason making her overly serious and a bit bitter towards her mother and Patsy's close friendship on a constant basis and always comes second fiddle to her brother Serge...who is only seen in 1 episode but spoken thru-out the series

and June Whitfield as Eddy's mother and sort of surrogate mother to Patsy
also known as "old woman" by Eddy..."gran" by Saffy and "mrs. M" by Patsy...she's despised by Eddy but loved by Saffy and has a bit of a kleptomaniac personality regard'n Eddy's household items that disappear from time to time only to end up at some charity shop

Jane Horrocks as Eddy's spastic bird brain personal office assistant
Bubbles...with her thick northern british accent and completely bizarre sense of style and her uncanny ability to forget names of simple objects or understand basic concepts...her main function is simply to flatter Eddy's vanity by comparison

Jane also doubles as Bubble's look-a-like and cheeky cousin...Katy Grin
she's a slick but aggressive and arrogant television presenter who shows
no real affection for anyone and gleefully throws out bitchy backhanded compliments when she gets the chance

Christopher Eddy's 1st ex husband and Saffy's father
Justin Monsoon owns an antique shop and with his lover Christopher and has very little patience for Eddy's antics but adores their daughter Saffy

Christopher has also appeared in many films prior to his AB FAB fame...
most noteabley as a speeder pilot Zev Senesca in the "Empire Strikes Back"

Christopher Eddy's 2nd husband and father to Eddy's son Serge
Marshall Turtle has his ups and downs thru-out the series as a hollywood playboy and movie producer...turned television evangelist and a bit child like and submissive when he marries his authoritarian american wife Bo

for you history buffs out there...Christopher was college con artist and group leader from another earlier and equally hilarious 80's british comedy
"The Young Ones" as Mike "the cool person" who never involved himself in the drama of his other flatmates and constantly said cheap and usless puns that made no sense

these boozey brauds spew out the best lines with fierceness and forceness
turn'n yer mid section into a sleeky and saucey sillouette

some of Eddy's (and my fav-o-rit)...most memorable quotes :
"cancel my crystal organic hairdresser...and see if i can be re-birthed next thursday afternoon"
[speak'n to Bubbles]

"oh...don't be so stupid...smoke can't get in there darling...smoke can't touch the baby...if it could you'd have come out looking like prosciutto...
believe me"

"god! i am...your mother...poised for your first sexual experience and night after night...dry bloody sheets!...i'm sorry darling...but i don't want a little moustached virgin for a do something about it!
[speak'n to Saffy]

some of Patsy's (and my fav-o-rit) most memorable quotes...
"one snap of my fingers and i can raise hemlines so high the world's your gynaecologist"

"the last mosquito that bit me had to check into the Betty Ford clinic"

"just when my life hit a good patch...along you miserable piece of should've ended up in the dust bin...the incinerator was too good for know when i heard that Eddy was pregnant...i told her to abort! abort! abort! abort!...i said chuck it down the pan...bring me a knitting needle!"
[speak'n to Saffy]

their seething social commentary with a hint of blatant bitterness for the beautiful and young...climax'n into ironic down pours of brassy humor...old and new fans will completely appreciate the poetic pleasantries of these 2 middle aged drunken dames from across the pond like an old friend that you'll wanna watch over and over again and never tire of

3 new 20th anniversary specials have been filmed and are air'n on Logo and BBC America...with a big screen film that apparently is in the works

if...after one episode view' decide you can't or won't get their humor...pack up yer piss poor personality and pooch...and get off my dress!

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