in the 1960's...Elvis's pelvis swooned millions of kittens...
like a dash board hoola girl in a grass skirt with hits like "can't help fall'n in love with you"
by the1970's...Donna Summer sighed heavily...
like a profesh phone sex operator durin' the summer of love with her hit "love to love you baby"
in the1980's...George Michael tried to put us under his spell...
with a model's A double snakes...declare'n "i want your sex"
(to be fair...originally it was suppose to be the other half of WHAM...Andrew Ridgeley...but he refused to do any manscape'n on his A double snakes)
by the 1990's...MADONNA's name was Dita...
she wanted to be yer mistress tonite...and wanted to take you from behind...with the native porn thump'n beats of "erotica"
with the new millennium upon us...and barely into the 2nd decade of it...
some GOP republiCANTS are sing'n a different tune all together...to try and make yer fornicational pleasures...with certain measures
1. Planned Parenthood
republiCANT prunes from banjo country in Tennessee...tried desperately to remove all federal fund'n from this agency early this year...with an urgency...but fortunately didn't get very far
apparently...these ladies think this is the only survival kit you'll need to ward off those unsuitable suitors
2. bann'n non heterosexual sex
yea...can ya believe 38 republiCANTS in that state voted against a measure to throw out an outdated law that would put 2 consent'n non heterosexuals locked behind bars
but really when ya think of it...that's not REALLY a punishment to the non heterosexuals
that's just a P-A-R-T-Y without a DJ!
luckily their efforts fell flat and the law was erased from the books
3. the 69 should be 86'd
or that's what republiCANT...Ken Cuccinelli...tried to do by reinstate'n the anti sodomy law in the VIRGIN-I-Ain't state...fer both non heterosexuals and the non homosexuals...but his efforts failed after he refused to answer (with his perfect blow job lips) whether or not he spits or swallows...or was a top or bottom
4. kill the pill bill
cuz CASPER CRUSADE'n republiCANTS would rather invest tax dollars into more seasons of MTV's hit show TEEN MOM...
and unwed mothers/ladies of the nite will enjoy that "special time" alone...as their child learns about attitude and gratitude with their new christmas gift
5. teenage delinquents need to be taught a lesson
cuz spend'n 500 million buckaroo's is gonna make em stop...seriously?...well that's what a handful of republiCANTS in congress thought was needed to help shape today's teenage tinglers from wait'n til they reach the tender age of consent...H-E-L-L-O!...tell'n a teenage not to do somethin' under the covers...is only gonna put them there faster...that's like tell'n hooker not to show up at any of yer conventions...they gotta pay rent somehow...and thing is...even if you gave teenagers the option of 500 mill to slap on a chastity belt...they'll find an ap to unlock themselves anyways and just DO IT!
6. commit'n a crime that's ALL yer fault
or at least that's what republiCANT Cathrynn Brown from New Mexico tried to push thru legislation...by say'n any victims of rape were "tamper'n with evidence"...really?...wow...she made Todd Adkins look like doosh rag with a heart...
it never made it off the shelves...like this edibley unpopular spin of a beloved child's imagination that taught them how to elude the police at an early age by change'n their appearance
so there ya have it kittens...and don't even get me started on those republiCANTS...who've been republiCANS...when no one's watch'n!
now get off my dress