Monday, December 30, 2013

wrapp'n it up!

like the late great JOAN once said...(thanx to great hollyweird writers)

from the SUPREME'S sing'n their latest number 1 hit...



strap on yer strap-on...and get ready to pop yer cork...
cuz it's gonna be one helluva ride as we take a road trip in reverse...look'n back at the year of the QUEER...the losers who wasted their wad...and everyone on the CRACK or in between it!

it all began with the destruction of D.O.M.A ...

are ya listen'n up ladies?

which led to the demolition of PROP 8...
and led to a flood of states...like the land of 10,000 lakes...i mean 9,999 bottoms...(hey someone's gotta satisfy the masses...otherwise it'd be bumper car city) become'n #12...offer'n the non heterosexuals the same equal rights to milk the system and be just as miserable in matrimony and reap the bennies like their non homosexual counterparts

and of course...fer every lucky winner....
there's gotta be a LOSER...and these LOSERS lost BIG TIME!

and if that wasn't enough to settle yer unsettled stomach...

but it wasn't just the politicians who raised non hetero holy hell...
these 3 not so wise men...lost the their flock along with the mind...by use'n the bible comic book as their defense to divide a nation to destroy a population...from Pat warn'n his audience of the San Franny non hetero's that wear Gollum's ring...lil Timmy tell'n us "they" were defeated by the bedazzlers..to big bad Billy-boy gett'n his britches in a bunch try'n to decipher the difference between kiddie-fuck'n catholic leaders and non hetero love'n breeders


alas...all wasn't lost in the land of the sexually repressed comic bookers...

in music newz...the BOY became the MAN in maybelline...
with a richer voice and 70's vibe...and his first full length album in 18 years...BOY had penned thee most amaze'n comeback melodic melodies of the year...prove'n he still is THE KING of QUEENS!

to the girl who's still have'n fun 30 years on...
and become'n the 1st women to win a TONY fer best musical score on Broadway...inspired by the movie...congrats girl...you deserve it!

and in other musically challenged newz...
KATY PERRY had "ROARED" to the top...while BLAH BLAH released  "ARTFLOP"...and MILEY CYRUS just went fer the chop!

but just when ya think it couldn't get any worse...
we had to bid au revior to some of the great women who made all the difference in the 70's...
from EDITH who sang her heart out...to ANN who took it one day at a time...to CAROL who answer'd the phones...til she got promoted to Bart's teacher 20 years later

unfortunately...also join'n them fer the after party is....
the male persuasion known as...
 the CASH COW...the CRIME BOSS...and the CRITIC

and the bulb burnt out waaay too soon fer these guys who made us swoon

we also lost some great political figures across the pond...

some predictions never came true..and some predictions made them bank...
but do you think these predictors...predicted what was come'n to them?

can someone turns the lights up PUHLEEZ...thankyou!

and now my fav-o-rit topic to talk about...
MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

i received some terrific prezzies this year under my xmess tree...
but by far my fav-o-rist of all was ALL 7 seasons of the MARY TYLER MOORE show from my dearest friend Jess...and ya know what...i am gonna make it after all!

and just when ya think it couldn't get better...it did...
i got rear ended the other nite after leave'n my friend's funeral...
well...not in the good way i might add!

of course the year wouldn't be complete without some tasty dish...
and you got yerself a catastrophe casserole that tastes like shit!

don't get too filled up...cuz A&E is serve'n up some craptastic delight...
called...DOOSH DUCK cake!
wait...ya know what? FUCK the DUCK...i'm not hungry!

and to top the year off with a batshit crazy cherry on top...
well kittens...guess that'll be wrapp'n it up...so until next year...
now get off my dress!


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