Monday, January 23, 2017

the ALTINATOR

gather round kittens...cuz i gotta excite'n new story to tell ya

well...after this past weekends unauguratation shenanigan'd shit show

1st off is that comparison pic from the greatest president of the new millennium

try'n to prove who had the most bigley turnout in the history of 
presidential turn-outs...now...at first sight...it looks as though that Mango Mussolini didn't have as much of a turnout...compared to that of OBAMA back in 2009 of course...what the press had failed so miserably to report on is...that though it may have look'd as if there was alotta empty space on the ground...much like inside Miss K's head...but if the press would'a just used a simple zoom lense...they would noticed...
it was entirely packed with supporters...
but apparently no one on the ground gave the accurate results from the hired ticket counters along the parade route
so Miss Cuntess Conway decided to clear things up by release'n the much anticipated...easy guide to fun facts when you don't want people to assume yer just a pile of mental batshit
it's was a sad day at the Bachmann's residence
and in case ya wanna get a jump on yer shopp'n fer yer lil ones...get the latest must have doll fer this years holiglazed season

so in case yer wonder'n...here are some other fun alternative facts that may be not true...but don't bother try'na verify'n any of em...cuz make'n shit up is way more fun when you don't think you have to be held accountable anymore...like this one...
alternative fact #1...dinosaurs were actually very docile cave cats
alternative fact #2...Lindsay Lohan lost out the starr'n role to Sally Field in "not without my daughter"
alternative fact #23...William Hung has sold more records than the Beatles and Madonna combined
alternative fact #4...Scott Baio is just a sad...desperate...republican...anal wart...just try'na restart his career...well ok...that's really a bad example cuz that one's not so much an alternative fact...as it is just a sad fuck'n fact

thru-out the world this past weekend...surpassed the inauguration of her boss...Lord FUCKFACE CLOWNSTICK...by millions...it simply can't compare to his actual number of brain dead lobotomized followers he had follow'n him on twitter and other social media outlets
cuz really...if you take a poll from all the Helen Keller's in the entire universe...it never even happened!
she's sorta like a presidential terminator...drunk on dramamine...but with less mass appeal...well cuz of her constant c-o-n-s-t-i-p-a-t-i-o-n-a-r-y looks

 now get off my dress!

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