Monday, June 5, 2017

head hunters

anyone over the age of 40 knows exactly where they were the nite...
the castaways on some hollyweird back-lot were under siege by some diabetic headhunter...who was actually just the Skipper who hadda play 2 parts that nite cuz the AJC (Amazonian Jungle Committee) couldn't agree on proper coconut wages

ever since i was but just a young unintentionally internationally unknown
perform'n illusionist of my own universe...(insert awwww's here) i have A-L-W-A-Y-S been fascinated with give'n head...oh i'm sorry kittens...that's a typo...i meant gett'n some a head in life (but more falls to the latter these days...just a lil behind the beauty secrets to any future mistakes/headaches out there salivate'n in my stories) 
that's besides the point i'm try'na make on todays episode...the point is kittens...people have absolutely gone apeshit and lost their heads over Kathy Griffin's freedom of headless speech...
so i decided to toss on my Angela Landsbury fish'n cap and peruse thru all the bitches and the babble concern'n one Miss Griffin and the lil pickle she allegedly put herself into and came across this past-his-prime poster child for kaeopectate comebacks...and thought i'd join in on the conversation...the follow'n is based on actual events:
so after her comedic heart felt apology that was reposted on a FB pseudo friends page...(who shall remain anonymous to protect his utterly sick'n body from bein' molested by the throngs of hungry homo's and future fag hags out there...that would desperately wanna be his personal love slave)...this massengill milker had this to spout out...well...just cuz he does have the freedom of speech in this country...UNFORTUNATELY though...this is MY WORLD and you shall not remain anonymous and pull yer passive aggressive bullshit with me...KAPEESH?...(and really...i'm doin him a favor after all...cuz i looked over his FB page and i think he really needs more friends)
apparently he doesn't recall FOX NEWS FAUX SNOOZE...Roger Allies or Bill O' i thought i'd respond'n accordingly
i made it personal? whom? this testicular twat swatter decided to throw this in fer his back up ammunition...
well...of course you know it was time fer me to spray on my aqua net...SUPERIOR extra hold and open up a can of whoop ass on this cunt ruffle'n rectal rash
of course...Paul mr. fuckmuppet wasn't finished with me just yet...and like any true virgo...he of course wanted the last word this bucket of monkey jizz just made it as i was wait'n fer my nails to dry...i decided to fry up a back hand educational sammich fer him... 
i desperately waited fer a rebuttal...but volcanic shitnozzle 2017 was putt'n on his 2nd coat of polish i decided to pull up my fishnets and end this thoughtless conversation that was goin absolutely no where...but my blog
but of course everyone's fav-o-rit diarectic dialoguer desperately hadda try and toss one more zigger...that pretty much fizzled out like diseased dick splash...make'n him look like a sad box of microwaved frogs
well...i knew at this point...this was a typical "str8" man's way of just try'n see what's under the i gave him a lil sneeky peeky...why not!
this was entertain'n and all and i wanted it to go on fer the next 15 minutes...but the cosmo was kick'n in...and i didn't wanna end up in FB i left him with a lil part'n gift
well...30 minutes had gone by without a peep from Paul...and i think we can all assume at this point kittens...
that his tuck got stuck!

of course leave it to the far righteous fucks to say "poor Barron"...but ya know...yer child outta ever have to suffer the imagery of their parent in any sorta horrible situation seems to me this is tit fer tat territory! plus...just another reason fer our TWITTER bitch to try and deflect from the Russia investigation!

the ONLY real crime i can see that Kathy may have committed here was...
try'na save some benjamins by not use'n her make-up artist and hair stylist...kitten...without yer face beat to a pulp by Mac cosmetics and excellent light'n...ya just look'n like some sad ol' cow clit who just finished lick'n barbeque sauce of a bucket of briskets fer $7 and some ass gravy
i would say to Kathy...Kathleen Mary Griffin...milk it for what it's worth...this is yer HELL-O-WEEN year ALIBABA and have them package up a cheap blue bow tied blouse with a cheap red wig...a small plastic face with hay fer hair...(ask George Lucas if you can borrow Jabba the Hut's face fer a mold...same diff really) and a lil bottle of pigs blood...SHAZAAM!
(oh and donate 10% of the profits to my piggy bank since i'm give'n you this money make'n idea fer free)

now...if you wouldn't mind pleez...GET OFF MY DRESS!

No comments:

Post a Comment