hopefully in their lifetime...after pick'n up the pieces from the past one and toss'n em into the incinerator portion of yer brain...once you've finally give'n yerself that much needed Ogilvie home lobotomy perm that you purchased from the corner store almost 3 years earlier...the very numero uno thing i've learned over the years is that you ought to never ever do...even if you think make'n yer very own STD with him is totally worth it...and that is...
YOU NEVER EVA open the X-files! (until you've made it past the 3 month honeymoon fuck festival and you want to bitch him out fer stupid shit that tests yer very soul by remind'n you of said past)
BUTT...this has absofuckinglutely nutt'n to do about to today's topic...
i just needed a segway!
with only a week away until the release of the HIGHLY a-n-t-i-c-i-p-a-t-e-d
ALBUM OF THE YEAR...appropriately title "MADAME X" (in my opinion kittens...so don't go write'n yer senators...send'n me hate mail...or toss'n burnt croissants in my front yard...carbs are not yer friend) from thee absolutely undisputable QUEEN OF THE FUCK'N DANCE FLOOR...(in 2 missed Clairol colors...why not!) and i...fer one...am beyond fuckingly X-static!
as M does...she's give'n us tried and true fans that have stuck by her
meaty thighs all these years...with a handful of tasty morsels...to keep our toes a tapp'n and make'n us hunger'n fer alot more
next up M would gift us with her conceptual video and anthem fer those marginalized fans from whatever background with "I RISE"
follow'n it up with her duet with 23 year old rapper/song writer SWAE LEE...gave us what we all "CRAVE"
a lil appetizer "FUTURE" with 28 year old Athens Georgia rapper/singer/song writer/producer Quavious Keyate Marshall...simply known as QUAVO...will definitely lite up the dance floor at all those 4% body fat...drug induced...inclusive...red...white or blue fuckfest parties in the desert cities...once the dj's get a taste of it...
then serve'n us up a side salad with the thought provoking smorgasbord "DARK BALLET"...til the full main course comes out on the 14th of june
which is appropriate...since it'll be her 14th studio album
though...it's technically her 16th i say...H-E-L-L-O!...how can they forget about "I'M BREATHLESS" & "EVITA"...yes i realize they're soundtracks...but it's not like she recorded em in some empty refrigerator box behind Popeye's chicken...she recorded em in a damn studio kittens!
of course M will follow it up with a fanfuckingtabulous tour as usual...well...
X-cept this time around...M's opt'n outta the usual sold out stadium tours seen around the globe...and instead...replace'n it with a much more intimate theater tour...fer multiple dates in selected cities thru-out the planet...that i loved the concept of...INITIALLY that is...until you hadda enter yer info in a lottery and hopefully be one of the chosen few who would be able to attend...well...needless to say...i wasn't too damn happy when i got this news...
NOT ONCE...but TWICE (thanx a mill management team)
but it was oh so very nice of the management team to prepay fer the MADAME X cd fer me...just so i wouldn't have to cart my plump and supple A-double snakes down the road to my fav-o-rit local record shop "ELECTRIC FETUS" and purchase it myself
if yer out there and hear'n this from Lourdes Marie Veronica Ciccone Leon
as she reads you my desperately seeking susan plea M
or you just happen to be peruse'n the net on yer ipad late some nite while soak'n yer fav-o-rit Gaultier blouse in yer calgon...as directed by the label
P-U-H-L-E-E-Z QUEEN...can ya make an X-ception & help a queen out?
or if you prefer...we can pop a squat & chatter about A-N-Y-T-H-I-N-G you wanna chat about that can't already be found by a simple google search with yer name
unlike the lame NY TIMES interview focus'n on yer age and all the material bullshit they came across while in yer presence
and selected seats are now available to us unchosen few (at the very least) but you will get back to me on that interview soon...won't you M?...of ourse those lucky enough to have bought tix fer PRIDE in the BIG APPLE...will soon get a preview of what's to come later this fall...as the QUEEN M herself is set to perform at the 50th anniversary of STONEWALL in a couple of weeks
a lil bit of PRIDE history with a snappy tee (while give'n back to a great cause) 100% of ALL tee's profits along with a digital album are goin to the TREVOR PROJECT...but hurry...sales end on the 14th
now get off my dress!
fer those who can't make it to this momentous event...but wanna relish in
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