Monday, July 1, 2019

stranger things

with the impend'n 3rd installment of thee most anticipated sci-fi series
of the season start'n this week with the kids from Hawkins Indiana...that appropriately takes place in the summer of 1985
and my hometown girl WINONA RYDER of course

i decided to relive season 2 all over again this past weekend to catch up...
since it was rain'n catastrophe's and calamities all around me...only to come face to face with my very own demagogue in between my marathon

so after spend'n endless hours clean'n out my FB page and cellular device
of all unknowns and negativities i no longer cared to ever come across ever again in this lifetime on one rainy afternoon...i received a text outta the blue from some unidentified "friend" ask'n me "what's up?"...i mentioned to said unidentified "friend" i was in the middle of a marathon on said rain day and eventually was gonna hit groceries at some point...and since my psychic connectors were down fer the day...i simply asked him to supply me with a pic to jar my ever faded memory...and minutes later my request was finally granted

well...he was an attractive pint sized middle eastern juiced up cuisine
 i had met months earlier on an inebriated nite out with some friends...so small talk turned into him say'n he was goin to do groceries himself and asked if i wanted to come along...so i accepted his invitation...why not!

until i had realized...once inside his magic carpet...we were headed to the
 dreaded death star of all grocery stores...SAM'S FUCK'N  CLUB

fer those out there unaware of what this planet of over abundance is all
 about...i don't have enough time in the day to explain it...but suffice it to say...i was impatiently count'n down the milliseconds until we left this atrocity...seriously...if this was suppose to be some sorta meet and greet...well...he won't be greet'n my meat anytime soon...period!

as we were come'n into the home stretch of his mega marathon of goodies
the couple in front of us was have'n a major meltdown cuz apparently their membership had expired and the grocery gestapo was out in full force and wasn't play'n around...i was think'n to myself that very moment...FUCK!!!
why the FUCK didn't i wear my slippers today?

once we emptied the cart into his car...it was back to reality and my
 marathon and ferget about ever gett'n the last hour of my life back...but of course the ride would not be complete with out the small banter and him inquire'n about my unintentionally internationally unknown perform'n illusionist life...and as i divulged a lil about myself...the next thing i know is...his hand stretch'n out like middle eastern taffy to what i assume was to grab my hand to hold...OHHHH NOOOO!...instead...my juiced up Jafar's hand has now turned into some sorta tractor beam and pulled my hand straight into his groinage...and he asked me just 3 simple words: 
"DO'YA WANNA SUCK?!" 
(and that is a direct quote)

as attractive as he was...i was not in any sorta mood to ride his magic
 carpet and explore his whole new world...so i politely declined and just asked to be dropped off...that's it!

once inside my shitbox...it was time to resume my Stranger Things 
marathon...but of course not before doin one more thing!

now get off my dress!

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