AND THE WINNER IS?

as far as competitions go....i was never really a huge fan of them at all

cuz when ya break'em down in the end they're just basically a popularity contest meant to break down those that our fucked up societal standards deem less than the worthy of praise...though thankfully there's always that ONE unfeckless freak in the crowd that shoots out in the end like a silver bullet kill'n the feckless cookie cutter crowded competition...and that is the one that will ALWAYS get my vote!

so it's that time of the year when all of hollyweirds glitzkriegs and glamour 

toads plump up their non existent pout and tout their tired tush and waxed bush down the red carpets from the INDIES to the OSCARS to give another vomit indulgent acceptance speech and squeeze out a single tear to thunderous applause then grab as many free fancy schmancy swag bags as possible in case their last movie bombed and the studio heads make a stop payment on their check

though personally fer me...it's really all about after the ooh so many many

uninvited invitations that i'm sure were simply lost in the mail fer me to ignore except fer the one that i always anxiously anticipate gett'n each and every year to hopefully get a ticket to attend the view'n party at my fav-o-rit rest stop fer some mouth water'n olive tapenade sunbathin' on some deliciously rustic italian sourdough bread and wash'n it down with a slightly chilled glass combo of champagne and chambord with a couple of plump raspberries pirouette'n gallantly to the bottom of the flute glass amongst an array of other deliciously orphaned frostbit nibbly's chipped outta the freezer from the previous holiday soirée thru-out the vote'n process...this of course is non negotiable so tick tock PEETRINELLA...T-I-C-K-T-O-C-K!

however somethin' more my cup of award tea is really just on the ROCKS!

more specifically THE ROCK AND ROLL HALL OF FAME where we as the human race can really make or break some bad ass with their pipes and place'n them in the musical archives of history!

BUTT trust me...this years nominations HAVE NOT disappointed me in the slightest!

first outta the gate is my fav-o-rit off the wall spit fire silver bullet with a 4

octave range from the golden age of the Mtv era who came from the streets of Brooklyn...born CYNTHIA ANN STEPHANIE LAUPER in 1953 she would eventually be known to world simply as CYNDI LAUPER with her famous flame red locks...her colorful consignment shop clothing style and her effervescent personality...CYNDI was a force thru-out the 80's that still shines bright after 40+ years in the biz

CYNDI began her musical journey in the updated 60’s style new wavy 

pop band BLUE ANGEL in 1979 and released their self titled debut album in 1980 with hits like

"I'M GONNA BE STRONG" 

 "I HAD A LOVE" 

and "LATE" before the band disbanded and CYNDI made her mark as an international solo sensation

debut'n her 1st record as a solo artist in 1984 with "SHE'S SO UNUSUAL" where CYNDI would make history by become'n the 1st woman to ever have 4 top 5 hits on the Billboard 100 charts from a debut album with the debut track written and recorded by ROBERT HAZARD in 1979 

though it wasn't until CYNDI rerecorded and released it in 1984 where it became the universal smash party anthem fer girls everywhere around the world with "GIRLS JUST WANNA HAVE FUN"

scoop'n up the best new artist at the GRAMMY'S in 1985 

then release'n the infectious quirky theme song "GOONIES R GOOD ENOUGH" to the teenrager Spielberg flick "THE GOONIES" that same year

CYNDI would release 10 more albums include'n an album of new and old 

holidazed classics ...

starrin' as psychic SYLVIA PICKEL in the 1988 romantic adventure "VIBES" among many other movie and tv appearances

then from book shelves to BROADWAY...CYNDI  LAUPER has put in her time and deserves to be inducted into the ROCK AND ROLL HALL OF FAME

enjoy my Spotify mix while yer bake'n a bunt cake

my 2nd place vote goes to the british mate who showed off his assets

better than anyone else in the 80's...born GEORGIOS KYRIACOS PANAYIOTO in East Finchley, Middlesex England in 1963...it would only take 18 years later in 1981 to be known as 

GEORGE MICHAEL from the 80's super bubble gum pop duo WHAM! with their infectious hit "WAKE ME UP BEFORE YOU GO GO"

WHAM! would only release 2 albums "FANTASTIC" and "MAKE IT BIG"

before GEORGE would call it quits to become a global sensation with his sexually infused money make'n hips on his debut album "FAITH" in 1987 sitting in the top 10 on Billboard charts fer 51 weeks spinn'n out #1 hits like "FAITH" "I WANT YER SEX" and "FATHER FIGURE"

i still remember buss'n my plump A double snakes to the Minne-Apple

in 1989 just to see him shake his live at the St Paul Civic Center only to find out after i had purchased a pepsi and a tour book i had no money left over to get back to my cuz'ns in the Minne-Apple so i sat outside the venue by the bus ramp try'n to hop a ride with anyone that could feel my personal predicament with no takers hear'n my pleas...that is until 2 hours after the show ended and i noticed a bus parade pull out from beneath the stadium and the last bus stopped at the top of the ramp and all of a sudden the doors opened and out popped the one i always wanted to pop my cherry in the worst way...GEORGE looked at me and said "can i help you with a ride mate?" and somehow i suddenly turned into some Helen Keller mute freak and couldn't mutter out a single word so after a few seconds (what seemed like a lifetime fer me) he went back into his bus and i kick myself to this very day how i possibly COULD HAVE BEEN MISS FUCK'N GEORGE MICHEAL!

by GEORGE's 2nd solo release "LISTEN WITHOUT PREJUDICE" in 1990

GEORGE no longer had the desire to be every man or woman's desire nor his record companies prostitute and refused to show his image on the album cover or the videos for "FREEDOM 90" opt'n instead to showcase the supermodels of the world at the time lyp-sync'n to his music

in 1998 GEORGE want'n to just bust his nut in the privacy of some L.A

lavatory however he would end up just gett'n busted by some under cover LAPD nonetheless GEORGE would turn his innocent indiscretion into the  unapologetic disco hit "OUTDSIDE" which was released later that same year on his album "LADIES AND GENTLEMEN" the BEST of GEORGE MICHAEL"

GEORGE would release a total of 5 studio albums with "PATIENCE"

bein his last in 2004 that garnered the futuristic hits "FREEEK!" and the up-tempo ditty dedicated to his dearest bf at the time "AMAZING"  (that incidentally should’a been about me if i had control of my cognitive senses & hopped on his damn bus in ‘89)

GEORGE had many personal demons he had to deal with thru his career

and unfortunately the musical world would loose a true genius on Christmas day in 2016 though his posthumous nomination is a well deserved and much warranted honor fer this musical icon

enjoy my Spotify mix on yer next road trip

CATHERINE BUSH was born in 1958 in Bexleyheath, Kent England

and by 1978 at the age of 19 KATE BUSH (whom she now would be known as) release'd her debut single "WUTHERING HEIGHTS" become'n the 1st UK female artist to write and record a number 1 hit fer the charts

KATE would go on to release 25 top 40 UK hits with a handful become'n 

top 10 hits like "BABOOSHKA" in 1980...

and "RUNNING UP THAT HILL" in 1985 

which would once again make KATE a household name 37 years after it's release with her hit become'n the pinnacle song in the dark teenrager series "STRANGER THINGS" and why she deserves yer vote today...come on gen Z kittens...be apart of history by putt'n KATE down in the musical history archives

SHERYL SUZANNE CROW made her debut in the 1962 and by 1993 

the natural blue eyed beauty would drop her middle name all together and debut the eclectic rocker chick hidden inside her known as SHERYL CROW popp'n out a string of top 10 hits thru-out the 90's and the early 2000's like "ALL I WANNA DO" "STRONG ENOUGH" and "IF IT MAKES YOU HAPPY"

on top of release'n 11 studio albums...SHERYL contributed to many many

movie soundtracks include'n 2 songs to the oscar nominated flick "ERIN BROCOVICH" with her duet with JOHNNY CASH "REDEMPTION DAY" and the films end'n number "EVERYDAY IS A WINDING ROAD" so SHERYL is worthy of my vote at #4

and last but certainly not the least was born a year after me in 1971...hail'n

from Portsmouth, VA...MELISSA ARNETTE ELLIOT began her career in the early 90's with R&B group SISTA until embark'n on her solo career in '97 and would become MISSY "MISDEMEANOR" ELLIOT with her debut album "SUPA DUPA FLY" which spawned the hit "SOCK IT 2 ME" make'n her the 1st female rapper to shoot to the highest spot at #3 on the Billboard 200 at the time

by 2001 MISSY's 3rd album "MISS E...SO ADDICTIVE" was by far thee

best work she had released to the universe at that point and had me addicted when MISSY released her 1st infectious single "GET UR FREAK ON" which was followed up by her premature ejaculatory duet with LUDACRIS "ONE MINUTE MAN" both burn'n up the dance floor 

release'n her 6th and final album "THE COOKBOOK" in 2005...MISSY

would move from the small screen to the big screen...appear'n in many television guest spots bein' a mentor on the 9th season of "THE VOICE" in 2015 and lend'n her voice on the off beat comedy cartoon "AMERICAN DAD!" as YOYO in 2016 

also lend'n her vocals on the remake of 70's hit "CAR WASH" with CHRISTINA AGUELERA in the animated fish flick "SHARK TALES" in 2004

even rework'n and rapp'n along side the QUEEN OF THE DANCE FLOOR in a commercial fer GAP jeans in 2003 to M's 1985 smash hit "INTO THE GROOVE" which in my eyes is an automatic reason MISSY needs to be in the ROCK AND ROLL hall of fame PRONTO!

well there ya have it kittens...my top 5 picks fer the ROCK AND ROLL 

HALL OF FAME inductions...you can vote in yer fav everyday until april 28th...so give kudo's where they belong...perhaps you even agree with my absofuckinlutely fab choices...if not...

then GET OFF MY DRESS!

stranger things

with the impend'n 3rd installment of thee most anticipated sci-fi series

of the season start'n this week with the kids from Hawkins Indiana...that appropriately takes place in the summer of 1985

and my hometown girl WINONA RYDER of course

i decided to relive season 2 all over again this past weekend to catch up...

since it was rain'n catastrophe's and calamities all around me...only to come face to face with my very own demagogue in between my marathon

so after spend'n endless hours clean'n out my FB page and cellular device

of all unknowns and negativities i no longer cared to ever come across ever again in this lifetime on one rainy afternoon...i received a text outta the blue from some unidentified "friend" ask'n me "what's up?"...i mentioned to said unidentified "friend" i was in the middle of a marathon on said rain day and eventually was gonna hit groceries at some point...and since my psychic connectors were down fer the day...i simply asked him to supply me with a pic to jar my ever faded memory...and minutes later my request was finally granted

well...he was an attractive pint sized middle eastern juiced up cuisine

 i had met months earlier on an inebriated nite out with some friends...so small talk turned into him say'n he was goin to do groceries himself and asked if i wanted to come along...so i accepted his invitation...why not!

until i had realized...once inside his magic carpet...we were headed to the

 dreaded death star of all grocery stores...SAM'S FUCK'N  CLUB

fer those out there unaware of what this planet of over abundance is all

 about...i don't have enough time in the day to explain it...but suffice it to say...i was impatiently count'n down the milliseconds until we left this atrocity...seriously...if this was suppose to be some sorta meet and greet...well...he won't be greet'n my meat anytime soon...period!

as we were come'n into the home stretch of his mega marathon of goodies

the couple in front of us was have'n a major meltdown cuz apparently their membership had expired and the grocery gestapo was out in full force and wasn't play'n around...i was think'n to myself that very moment...FUCK!!!

why the FUCK didn't i wear my slippers today?

once we emptied the cart into his car...it was back to reality and my

 marathon and ferget about ever gett'n the last hour of my life back...but of course the ride would not be complete with out the small banter and him inquire'n about my unintentionally internationally unknown perform'n illusionist life...and as i divulged a lil about myself...the next thing i know is...his hand stretch'n out like middle eastern taffy to what i assume was to grab my hand to hold...OHHHH NOOOO!...instead...my juiced up Jafar's hand has now turned into some sorta tractor beam and pulled my hand straight into his groinage...and he asked me just 3 simple words: 

"DO'YA WANNA SUCK?!" 

(and that is a direct quote)

as attractive as he was...i was not in any sorta mood to ride his magic

 carpet and explore his whole new world...so i politely declined and just asked to be dropped off...that's it!

once inside my shitbox...it was time to resume my Stranger Things 

marathon...but of course not before doin one more thing!

now get off my dress!