Monday, April 3, 2023

THE RAINBOW DISCONNECTION

picture it kittens...it's 1939 and a young milky cream skinned brunette
in pig tailed braids and a checkered pinafore dress known as the carefree niece DORTHY GALE who was crash'n in the spare bedroom on her aunt and uncle's farm in Kansas...played by the sweet soulful songbird miss JUDY GARLAND who so eloquently poured from her cushion pillowed lips about dream'n of a better technicolor life somewhere over the rainbow where skies are blue...and the dreams that you dare to dream really do come true (as long as you take yer hallucinogens with a warm glass of moo juice before bedtime)  which was telecast every year durin' the festivous holiday known as the butcher'n of the turkey and taters with a side of family dysfunctionality in november that was an annual tradition from 1959 til 1991 on commercial broadcast television
(well except in 1963 presumably cuz Marilyn's pre-tinder hook-up never showed up fer their hook-up one fateful afternoon)

by 1979...the banjo play'n amphibious muppet know to the world as the 
beloved lime felted KERMIT THE FROG...strummed his way thru the bayou teach'n us young GEN X'ers "someday we'll find it...the rainbow connection...the lovers...the dreamers...and me" which pretty much meant even the oddest person out can find a connection with the world somewhere if you look hard enough (even if yer just full of foam and a hand up yer amphibious ass)

we have all ridden the rainbow of chemically prepackaged pink hearts...
orange stars...yellow moons...green clovers...blue diamonds and purple horseshoes every morn'n before school or saturday morn'n cartoons... 
or binge'n on mary jane while binge'n on MARY TYLER MOORE durin' those wasted dorm years..
and who among us hasn't tasted the rainbow crave'ns splatter'n across our face from time to time
BUTT...now

apparently as the musical director had spent weeks with her 1st graders 
learn'n the lyrics fer their spring concert at Heyer elementary school in Waukesha County to the songs "IT'S A SMALL WORLD" (sung in spanish) 
"HERE COMES THE SUN" by the BEATLES
and the patron saint of big wigs and even bigger cross yer heart bra's...the song bird of the south DOLLY PARTON and her goddaughter MILEY CYRUS's duet "RAINBOWLAND" that the kids were beyond excited to learn as reported

leave it to the cheddar headed administrational basturds who deemed 
the DOLLY duet as "controversial" just cuz of the word "rainbow" was bein' used in the song as it might give the wrong message to the lil sing'n angels and the audience...ummm...about what? teach'n the lil kittens how they should accept everyone just as they are with lyrics like "we are all rainbows....every color every hue...let it shine on through...together we can start living in a rainbowland"

well let's just call it was this totally is...typical fear monger'n brain wash'n 
rhetorical absofuckinlute GOP BULLSHIT who love guns more than the lives of the lil kittens they supposedly want to protect!

who is so fuck'n threatened by the fact that a national big box company just happens to sell some boy's line of tee's with that dreaded...dastardly CHER ferbidden R-A-I-N-B-O-W on it...completely destroy'n the very idea of masculinity that ALL boys from 3-10 yearn for (as if lil Johnny would say to his parental advisor "awww geez daddy...i don't want another shirt with a football on it...i want the tee that screams HEY come and stick yer hand down my jumper and bukakee all over my britches")

what's next? lobotomize ANY lil kitten that happens to look up into the sky 
after a rain storm and notices a rainbow on full semi erect display? 

so LISTEN UP all you alarmist fuckertards...you DO NOT ever fuck with 
 DOLLY or her music...P-E-R-I-O-D!
cuz i'll tell you one thing...if you say another word about DOLLY or make another indecent proposal...i'm gonna get that gun of DOLLY's and i'll change you from a rooster to a hen with one shot!
have a hippity hoppity week and GET OFF MY DRESS!

No comments:

Post a Comment