there are many many many things in this crazy Cher-fer-sake'n world that can make all of us break down and weep from time to time!
not gett'n a hold of tickets to the GREATEST SHOW ON EARTH this year
(FYI...that AIN'T a happen'n...thanx to my dear friend Emily...kisses)
chopp'n up one of these suckers fer yer salad will do the trick
knock'n over a glass of moo juice might turn some into a whine ass
period and this was considered to be good luck for those who did it
(but put that in yer useless information bank and smoke it)
try'n to save a couple of bucks...instead of call'n a real professional
or a misunderstand'n...that goes askew...while hold'n a pick axe in yer hand
i was fumblin' thru my dvd collection last weekend after a difficult day
with my conscious tell'n me what to do...after o.d.'n on a 6 pack of red bull...try'n to find somethin' to get the ol' R.E.M's to kick in
(hadda throw somethin' in there...thought i was loose'n ya fer a minute)
i knew i needed somethin' with an extremely hysterical moment to get the water works happen'n..whether good or bad...in order to calm those night time nerves
and since i'm not 20 anymore...(unless i'm under the right light'n and bitch slapped by photo shop fer a few hours)..."patty cake'n the bacon" don't work like it used to!
even though i've seen these flicks like 100 million times over...they get to me each and every time durin' those pivitol moments...so i've compiled my top 10 list of bawl'n busters fer my narcaleptic naps
10. Lisa Lampanelli: take it like a man
i dare you not to bust open the flood gates watch'n this show
9.Thelma and Louise
8. Little Miss Sunshine
6. Brokeback Mountain
4. Steel Magnolias
writer was born to make you weep..."i'm fine!...i can jog all the way to Texas and back...but my daughter can't!...she never could!...oh G*d!...i am so mad i don't know what to do!...i wanna know why!...i wanna know why Shelby's life is over!...i wanna know how that baby will ever know how wonderful his mother was!...will he ever know what she went through for him!...oh G*d i wanna know why?...Why?...lord i wish i could understand!"
3. Torch Song Trilogy
is when you accidentally douche with drano!...no Ed...this was no "whoops" this was an AAAAAAAAAAAAA!"...i'm already gett'n farklempt and i haven't even pressed play
2. Terms of Endearment
so there ya have it kittens!
keep yer nyquil...choke on yer ambien...this is my preferred medication to dreamland...try it next time yer toss'n in yer sleep...if it don't work...go see a doctor and get off my dress!