oh fer the mother of gawd! pt.1

moms

we all had to have one at some point...whether we like it or not!

some moms are single and like help in the garden from time to time

who accept their children as precious publicity prizes

some moms may never be runway models...but make great role models

who accept their children as back talkers with a mind of their own

some moms are divorced...try'n to raise their kids on a very fixed income

who accept their children as teenage terrors just try'n to get along

and some moms are widowed...just try'n to make extra income fer their kids

who accept their children as their partners in the family business

some moms are simply fantastic at multi task'n

who accept their children as complete juvenile deliquents with high libidos

while some moms can turn a simple task into multiple solutions

who accept their children as free-load'n adults who never leave the house

and then there's that one mom that some say "pulled a rabbit outta her hat"

but this is one ferry who cannot confirm or deny this fairie tale took place

either way ya look at it...many of moms out there are the problem solvers
or perhaps a more fitt'n title would be..."solution researchers"

BUT...and there always is one

(i mean...c'mon...we all have one...right?)

there is a certain conglomerate of "non solution reasearchers" out there...
otherwise known as problem seekers...instead of problem solvers!

so you have this supposed one million moms who are outraged by the fact that JC Penny's has someone like Ellen Degeneres as their spokesmodel

what's wrong with Ellen?...she's funny...she's charismatic...she speaks her mind without have'n to use vulgar humor to make a point...she's completely comfortable with herself...she's made it thru the barriers of what is considered "beautiful" in hollyweird without have'n to pose fer playboy...and she's a woman!

i thought it was all about girl power...

about gett'n the right to vote...burn'n yer bra's...about Roe vs Wade

EQUALITY!

so why is it then...that a bunch of backyard bitches (hey...i'm not Ellen) think that Ellen is not fit to represent?

the simple pimple is...cuz she's a woman...who likes women!

granted...Ellen's girl power may go from the bright lights to the bedroom...
but she's not represent'n sex toys...nor is she dressed up as some scadtily clad runway up-chucker with a weave...nor is she spew'n out raunchy language to the millions who tune into her daily program

it's fine if you wanna protest things like language appropriateness or sexually explicit images thru tv or advertisements that are obviously unsuitable for kids of a certain age bracket...i can agree with ya there...

but try'n to get a boycott goin for a company just cuz they chose someone

who you think is not part of the "traditional family" values...ummm yea...
the Penny has grown up and changed their minds...maybe you should!

i hate to hate on haters...but quit hate'n haters!

i also hate to point out the simple fact...just in case yer unaware...that a non heterosexual woman or a non heterosexual man cannot exist without a non homosexual woman and a non homosexual man...(which YOU say is the "traditonal family")...and therefore YOU are accountable and are completely resposible fer our exisitance so...mucho gracious in salutations!

cuz after all...we were born this way

you wanna go back to wear'n petticoats and fiddle dee dee'n...that's fine

but that don't mean the rest of us hav'ta jump on yer broom stick and join ya...and don't start bitch'n to yer porcelian dolls cuz yer not treated fairly when yer look'n fer a wedd'n planner...hairstylist...interior decorator...
build'n contractor...salesperson...lawyer...or a huge array of other personal assistance you made need in yer everyday life...

cuz here's a quarter bitches...buy a clue

Ellen's (and Allen's) have existed since the beginn'n of time...plus...we have ALOT more expendable income to help the economy GROW...which is a good thing...aint' it?

gawd...when will this right winged bible beat'n paranoia end?

i'm guess'n no time soon...since they are also now pissed at Macy's

bitches puhleez...you do no harm to no one but yerself...i was never a huge fan of the Penny...but thanx to yer ignorance...you gave me an outlet to plug into and shed some light to my masses how you all look like asses!

now if ya wouldn't mind...i got some shopp'n to do...so get off my dress!

ps...speak'n of mom's...how incredible was the QUEEN mom's performance on sunday...i went to thee best 12 minute superbowl party in the history of parties...the QUEEN gave me goosebumps...i swear to CHER!