Monday, August 13, 2012

salvation vs. starvation

hey kittens...can i get everyone to sit in a circle so i can tell ya a terribly TERRIBLE lil story about self imposed hunger!

now i'm not talk'n about a  3rd world countries hunger...

the homeless and their hunger...

or even models with their hunger fer a tic tac...

mind you...these are all very very sad examples of hunger that is goin' on all around us and unfortunately will continue to go on thru-out  the world...
unless YOU decide to help change things

no...today i'm gonna tell you about a new tragedy that is slowly gain'n momentum...and turn'n into a tidal wave thru-out this country at least...
thanx in part to this dude...as once portrayed by this beloved raisin rancher

see thing is...ever since the religious priests perpetrators of the world have had to cover up their "under the cover" cover ups that have shunned them fer the past 50 years...cost'n their belief system approximately 2.5 billion big ones...they've had to come up with some ingenious plan to get their flock back

and what better way to smoke screen their shinnanigans than to have their religious followers extreme factory processed zealots boycott and refuse to partake in as many LGBT associated companies as possible to distract the rest of the world to believe nothing they did was ever wrong

only problem is...it has now left them virtually scour'n the grocery aisles in complete despair and utter chaos in biblical proportions...of what was never meant to be...that their fav-o-rit trans fatty food corps are support'n equal rights fer everyone under the rainbow (i'm talk'n about the LGBT kittens to)
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

so this guy...Tony Perkins
ooops...my bad...this is just a reference to the scream above
not this scream
this scream...someone stop me!...now where was i?...oh yea...

Family Research Council pariah puppet Tony Perkins issued a statement
state'n companies that support LGBT endeavors are fann'n the flames to a "cultural war" that will seal their fate...bitch puhleez...there's more culture
in one of these lil buckets than in you

among the many unsuccessful boycotts to their cause includes:
ALL General Mills products...Starbucks...Girl Scout Cookies and

but don't stop there Tony...with the J-man at the wheel...act today and you can also nix these nummy nummy breakfasts up to and include'n :
Cheerios...Chex...Cinnamon Toast Crunch...Trix....and since Kellogg's is also fer the homo's equal rights it also means Apple Jacks...Froot Loops...
Frosted Flakes...Special K... Pop-Tarts...and Smart Start are forbidden
and i'm sorry but yer also gonna have to leggo of yer f*ck'n Eggo!

hmmm...what's fer lunch?...well certainly not these blasphemous products:
Campell's Soup...V8...anything by Sara Lee...Chef Boyardee...Banquet...
Blue Bonnet...Easy-Mac...Oscar Mayerl...Morningstar Farms...and Manwich
(trust me...i'm all the manwich you need to eat...tee-hee!)

and if you thought that was bad...yer lil kittens will also have to repent their fav's like Lunchables...Kid Cuisine...Fruit by the Foot...Gushers...
and Fruit Roll-Ups...total desert of the devil

happy hour just became a lil sadder...thanx to those LGBT lovers :
Coca-Cola products...Pepsi products...Anheuser-Busch...Dr. Pepper...
Coors...Snapple...Budweiser and Bud Light...Miller and Miller Light
all have policies that help the homo's with their equal rights

feel like putt'n yer sweet tooth to work? DAMN...sux to be you then:
besides Nabisco's Oreo's...Teddy Grahams...Nutter Butter...Honey Maid...Chips Ahoy...Barnum's Animal Crackers...anything Hershey or Toblerone...Bertolli...Breyers...Klondike...Popsicle
and even Ben & Jerry's are taste'n the rainbow

and ps...don't even think about add'n Splenda to yer grocery list!

NO MORE of these RIBOFLAVIN'S?...NO MORE of these HIGH FRUCTOSE CORN SYRUPYNESS'S?...NO MORE of these THIAMINE MONONITRATE'S or REDUCED IRON'S?

dear G*D what will they do?

if yer wanna ride the bull...yer gonna get the horns!
(thanx to my dear kitten Jen)

you can't just stop there!...if yer boycott'n because you don't wanna feel like yer shake'n yer fist at the "ALMIGHTY" up above...consider other aspects of yer life you might wanna reconsider doin business with...since all these other companies are promote'n sinnergy as well :

IBM...Intel... American Express...American Airlines...Southwest Airlines...
Delta Airlines...United Airlines...Staples...Colgate-Palmolive...Ramada...
Pacific Gas & Electric...Johnson & Johnson...Corning...Allstate...AT&T...
CVS...Shop ‘n’ Save...Bank of America...Marriott...Blue Cross/Blue Shield...
Burger King...FedEx...Merck...MetLife...Capital One...Century 21...HBO...
Target...Toyota...Chevron...NBC Universal...UPS...Hilton...Hyatt...Verizon...
Office Depot and OfficeMax... just to name a few

yer better off become'n AMISH...this way ya won't be waste'n money after check'n outta yer hotel room...fill'n up at the gas station...buy'n those snicky snacks fer the road...make'n sure you don't get pulled over by the cops without that insurance while on yer way to the airport...now get off my dress!

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