unless alotta dead presidents and cocktails were involved...since i am...after all...thee unintentionally internationally unknown perform'n illusionist of my own universe
i was never a fan of try'n to rub 2 sticks together to create a fire...
unless it involved take'n me out to dinner and dance'n first
and i could care less about collect'n badges fer a job well done...
when i'd rather be collect'n notches fer a well done job!
recently...it seems this time honored institution
known simply as the BSA these days
is not very honorable since the beginn'n of it's time
the Boy Scouts of America
or as i'd refer to them as simply...Bull Shitters of certain Assholes
is about as old as aluminum foil...
man made...wrinkled...and barely hold'n itself together anymore
recently...the institution has come under fire for it's long stand'n policy of "no gay's" allowed...but to be fair...they also don't like those fear monger'n atheiests or agnostics either
and as a private faith hater'n club...they can make up their own rules...
as stated by the members of the Supreme supper club
now don't get me wrong...i'm not knock'n the lil kittens
who've been forced into this exclusive religious cult by family members...or those who've wanted to join on their own free will...as a passage from boyhood to...
a confectionary representative
but to say they've never allowed ANY non heterosexuals in their club...
H-E-L-L-O!...it's screams white party weekend in palm springs
mind you...not ALL BSA members are practice'n their
outside of their own biological sexual clock tick'n on their own time and give'n themselves self inflicted carpet burns fer take'n Rosie Palmer out on one too many unlubricated dates...they're NOT think'n about sex at all when they signed up
they signed up to hang out with some old friends...make new ones...
an excuse to get outta their drunken parents hair fer the weekend...
learn how to take care of themselves and others in a rainstorm...
with 2 matchsticks...some twine and twig branches...and earn'n coordinate'n patches that match their sashes!
they're not think'n about what to wear to the big bear beer bust on a friday nite...spritz'n on their fav-o-rit chrloryphormic scent behind their ears...or order'n a fresh bottle of poppers to go with their porn
when recite'n the Scout Oath...scouts promise to do their duty to
and to be morally straight
(but they can be immorally unstraight as a wet noodle when no one is watch'n)
with that in mind...let's break down the Scout Law:
trustworthy...loyal...helpful...friendly...courteous and kind:
sounds to me like the make'n of a BFF...who knows how to shop fer deals...and would gladly give up their seat at happy hour...fer yer number
obedient...cheerful...thrifty...brave...clean and reverent:
sounds to me like the make'n of a submissively happy decorator...who can get rid of tough stains with total respect
x-cuse me if i'm wrong...but don't it sound like this has the write'n of a mo'?
further more...as a tax exempt private organization...ain't you NOT ALLOWED to discriminate on the basis of someone's sexual orientation?
in short: these anal warts believe in a mind controlled indoctri-nation...
and they like it doggy style
so it's no surpirse a handful of these religious anal warts
are gett'n their panties in a bunch...just cuz they were always picked last durin' dodge ball
why is it these religiolus republicant's (the huge magority of finger pointers)
constantly turn just about every arguement...a means to stop further progression on anything (when concern'n non heterosexuals..whether it be child or adult) into a sexual smorgasbord of deviant behavior...instead of give'n them the same thought and consideration to any issue...as they would be it about a non homosexual issue?
is it because they never got to 2nd base at the sock hop?...
or cuz they never got invited to "inspiration point" after the drive-in cuz Betty Sue had to "wash her hair"?
or perhaps it's cuz they're a rage'n closeted pole puffer who simply can't get it up...and are tired of have'n to spend their hard earned bigotry bucks to get someone to show any emotion towards them..period!
whatever the case may be...it's time to get on the bus Gus!
cuz the rest of US are move'n on!
when asked at the super bowl pre-game whether the ban on non homosexuals in the BSA should be lifted...
totally open non homosexual eagle scout hottie Zach Wahls...
raised by 2 lezzy bordens...
recently spoke so eloquently with this loud mouthed crypt keeper...AND
poster child fer anal retentive suppositories...and prez of the ethics and public policy center...Edward Whelan
(also known as the Sexually Terminal Dipshitters or S.T.D club)
major corportations like the Merck Foundation...UPS...Levi Straus...CVS Pharmacy...Medtronics Inc...Intel...a handful of United Ways are among the many that have pulled their support to a die'n breed of greed...that is not an ALL inclusive organization
even tv's lovable talkshow host...and JCP spokemodel
antiques...ancient artifacts...and oil paint'ns by DaVinci and Van Gogh
deserve to be preserved
these discriminatory organizations are like prostitioners...
and eventually will be busted!
i recall another discriminatory organization that wanted certain members...
and it didn't end to well fer them...did it?
get with the program BSA...time to put the stitches into yer bitches...
and get off my dress!