Monday, March 4, 2013

a treat for BEAT

remember when this bunch of cali girls once said:

then there was that time when Michael wanted us to just...

and remember that annoy'n n mid late nite commercial...when that out-of-work actor/part-time porn operator once said fer the latter day saints:
"when people ask me who i'd like to read about most...i'd say...jesus christ...JACKIE BEAT of course!"

the domestic goddess herself...Roseanne Barr says...
“Jackie Beat is the greatest drag queen on earth!” 

the supermodel who better work!...RuPaul says...
“A true triple threat…Talent, Beauty and the Beat, Jackie has it all! A great talent, pure genius!”

who starred in such non heterosexual classics like:

"Sex and the City" season 2 episode 9 as the bingo caller

has written jokes fer the legendary Joan Rivers fer the Fashion Police on E! among many others in the business of show

and singer of electro-rock band Dirty Sanchez...
who toured with the My Life With The Thrill Kill Kult

is pull'n an Elizabeth...and needs yer help desperately!
(NO i don't mean that in a kick'n the can kinda way kittens)

and now...a JACKIE BEAT poem entitled...

"a treat for BEAT"

there is this gurl named Jackie
who is just a wee bit wacky
her hair is so high
it almost touches the sky
but her songs are perfectly tacky

i was in a bit of the slumps
i need to get off of my rumps
so i downloaded her musical voices
since she made all the perfect choices
and she put me back into my pumps

my fav-o-rit was “baby got front”
it tells of a fetish quite blunt
it’s a remake from the 80’s
but this was made fer the “laydee’s”
and those non homosexuals with a c*nt!

she’s done a lot of  the one hit wonders
i’ve performed them with very few blunders
“oh Mickey” became “oh Jesus”
i brought the crowd down to their kneezes
come’n out on a cross…caused a handful of stunners

her stand-up is completely outrageous
some might say even a bit over ostentatious
she’s performed fer the masses
made them fall on their asses
the laughter is completely contagious

i’m thrilled beyond my own reflection
cuz yer nothin’ short of pure perfection
yer shows make me laugh
splitt’n my bubble ass in half
you’ve give’n me so much affection

without you I AM NOTHING she said
it’s true…without you…I AM NOTHING but lead
you brought me back to my life
inspirationally cutt'n like a knife
yer the reason Krystal can get outta bed

she’s been perform’n now fer 20+ years
for the very famous…and include’n the queers
but her hips have started to ache
and she’d rather not have them break
so i'm plead’n fer help as one of her peers

there is no drag queen insurance
and she needs hips badly with endurance
so please open yer pockets
and help rebuild her boney sockets
so Jackie can have some reassurance

i've run out of words i guess
so to help her to feel less stress
just visit her sites
and help with her plight
or kindly pleez...get off my dress!
wish'n you all of my best on a speedy recovery!
xxoo Krystal Kleer
if you'd like to donate to Jackie's recovery visit here
to learn more about the phenomenon that is Jackie Beat visit here
to read what's on Jackie's mind visit here

to get the perfect get outta jail prezzie or fer any other crappy occasion

No comments:

Post a Comment