Monday, July 28, 2014

brannanrama

when ya think of the most famous woman in the world...
who single handedly recreated how the musical wheel is spun and turned underwear into outerwear...the first person that comes to everyone's mind from toddlers to teenagers...skaters to haters...and trannies to grannies...EVERYBODY knows there's only one M-A-D-O-N-N-A!

when ya think of the cringe worthy devastate'n rise in ear bleedage...
due to the recent leakage of a non auto toned single...you think of Britney Spears...who herself only found out after all these years...it really wasn't here smooth sultry voice that caused pandemonium on all those records but producers who turned her into some sorta robotic vixen after endless hours in the studio...well...needless to say...this news caused such a commotion to devoted Spearheads from around the world...that they impaled themselves on theirs
outta sheer embarrassment fer mock'n Miss Aguilera's true talent all those years

when ya think about ogilvy home permanents gone wrong...
armed with only a guitar...belt'n out beautifully penned lyrics about social injustice and personal despair that cut thru the very essence of yer soul...and piss'n on the CASPER crusaders at the same time...of course no one does it better than Sinead O'Connor

but today ain't about her either!

as the model/charm'n guitar pluck'n luscious lipped Ceth
 (aka Sarah Problem)
who entangles himself in a menage a' trois with James and Jamie...and gives a whole new mean'n to sing'n the national anthem
and recorded his 1st professional track "soda pop" along with many other talented song birds for the film's soundtrack

also appear'n in other indie flicks like...
 "HOLDING TREVOR" and "KISS OF THE DAMNED"

urge'n the couch potato's to get off their ass...and start pump'n up their pancake ass

this non heterosexual (allegedly i presume) from the BIG APPLE...
started out at the bottom in cow town texas...but slowly made his way to the top of the charts...armed only with his unfortunately strike'n good looks and his guitar

singer...songwriter and all around hot as fuck (in my eyes) with those eyes...
 Jay Brannan has been compared to guitar pluck'n greats in the music biz like...
 Tracy Chapman...Joni Mitchell...and Sinead O'Connor
among many others by industry folks

described as not fer the faint of heart...but perfect fer the broken hearted...
with his sweet and sorrowful melancholic lyrics and indie folk style for the instant oatmeal generation...Jay can turn the bitterest bastard into a weep'n puddle of regret...tear'n you apart from the inside out with his tenor voice and the simple strumm'n of his guitar

start'n off with his 4 song epic EP simply titled "UNMASTERED"...
i found by mistake while search'n for porn download'n music on a lazy afternoon...i fell in love with his voice after here'n his unapologetic plea on "half boyfriend" and  "body's a temple"

mr. hotness released his 1st critically acclaimed album "GODDAMN"...
in the summer of 2008...release'n music video's for my all time fav track on the album "can't have it all" and "housewife"

a year later Jay released his sophomore album "IN LIVING COVER"...
 pretty much a x-c-lent covers album...brilliantly cover'n the Cranberries hit "zombie" and Joni Mitchell's "all i want" among many others...with a couple of his own hits thrown in...like his beautifully beautiful hit "beautifully"

his 3rd album released on his own Great Depression Records...
"ROB ME BLIND" in 2012 included the title track "rob me blind" and "greatest hits"...plus his heart warm'n re-release of "beautifully"

release'n his EP in 2013 aptly titled..."AROUND THE WORLD IN 80 JAYS"...
recorded in 6 different languages...crammed full of eclectic acoustic covers...like "bidi bidi bom bom" by the late Selena and Sinead O'Connor's "black boys on mopeds"

with the release of this years much anticipated "ALWAYS THEN+NOW"
his 1st release of melancholiness on "blue haired lady" and back to the beginn'n with "square one"...Jay has definitively made his mark on the music world

he even released a couple of xmas tunes to help cure those holidazed hassles

his voice just not enough fer you?...hey no prob...

it was time to hit the road once again...well...so his electricity wouldn't get shut off...so i was lucky to catch his brilliance in live'n color last week in the
Minne-Apple at the Triple Rock Bar...open'n with him was his good friend and SHORTBUS cohort...
BITCH 
(not to be confused with that CUNT Flowers tragedy from the Minne-Apple)
armed with her electric violin...keytar and her quirky style...BITCH was the perfect match that captivated the crowd until Jay hit the stage
 his tour is already in full swing and will appear all across the US...then hopp'n the northern boarders to Canada before complete'n his fabulousness across Europe in the fall
click here fer dates and tickets

wanna win a nite with this brilliant arteest?...get in fuck'n line...i was here 1st!...(sorry ladies but he doesn't have the taste buds fer taco salad...well
allegedly anyways) but you can check more out about him by click'n here

discrete stalkers can follow him along the informational highway below:

so get his music...buy his cool crap...and get tickets to his show TODAY!
you'd be an absolute A double snake not to

now get off my dress!



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