the snow glows white on the mountain tonite...not a footprint to be seen...
so recently...to my surprise…i made it 8.5 years at my current place of employment without goin' all ape shit on their ass...which is a very huge...
a kingdom of isolation...and it looks like i'm the queen!
so recently...to my surprise…i made it 8.5 years at my current place of employment without goin' all ape shit on their ass...which is a very huge...
accomplishment fer me!...ummm…before you start to hum that Cher awful "for he’s a jolly good…" with party hats and parade float cheers…save it!
i don't believe in 8.5 year plans…i don't even believe in 8.5 minute plans
i believe in things like 8.5 inch heels...AND...
i definitely believe in 8.5 inch cocks
my subconscious has been unconscious for pretty much the past 7 years…11 months…and 30 days...and count'n (the 1st 6 months seemed logical)
i never thought i could or would STILL be corralled in the same cubicle stall
mon thru fri...9 to 5…
work’n in the concrete jungles of corporate america...
crammed amongst the elevator comedians and skyway stalkers...
you know…the type that trap you in hell for the next 30 seconds…while yer bein' lifted to yer own personal cubicle of hell...
try'n to give their best 2-drink minimum routine to the crowd of cackle'n heels
desperately search'n for dinner and a diamond...
or that one needle in a gaystack you've noticed over the past 8.5 years amongst the herd of bad boy band haircuts and poly blends that you finally had a chance encounter to meet outside of the downtown mousetrap maze only to find out he has the emotional commitment of gnat!
my job is no different…or earth shatter'n…or even remotely entertain'n...
like most downtown jobs…(well except for the ones called "blow")…which i can safely say…i have never applied for…yet!
we've all worked with a co-work'n henchman who makes you wish you had the strength of Doralee Rhodes Violet Newstead and Judy Bernly fer a day
to hunt them down… hog tie'em to a chair…and purposely mix up the box of sticky-n-sweet with rat poison while pour'n 'em a cup of sanka...
but since they have the personality of a dollop of mayonnaise...
it really ain't worth bein' someone's cigarette bitch...draped in an orange jumper all day
and of course...no office would be complete without a Roz Keith...
i believe there are 2 employed with me
i've worked with the variable poo-poo platter of the invasion of the entire "burbanation" dur'in my stay here at the florescent bulb heavens in hell...
and have heard just about every story i can ever possibly want to handle...
from kids...
and casseroles…
to ball games...
and break downs...
as they do their daily feed'n at the donut trough
"like unless yer gonna talk about Madonna or cock…you got know business spew'n yer business to me…cuz it's none of my business!" would not be advisable at this portion of the game
the very small handful i have had contact with outside of the work space have been entertain'n to be around...but we’ve not reached to the level of "free range" conversations like i have had with all my past places of employment…and that’s fine with me these days
now before you go say'n i should be grateful i have a job in this economy…and 8.5 years is a good accomplishment…and i should feel i am one of the many rewards bestowed on said corporation fer my longevity…cuz YES…i know how hard it is to have a job…let alone keep one these days…but this is my blog…so save me yer speech!
let's talk about this "reward'n" feel'n i should feel...just fer a minute
"REWARD" as defined by WIKIPEDIA has a merried of definitions…but this one best describes my situation…simply say'n "offered as an incentive"
so what's my reward of 8.5 years feel'n like it's "time to make the donuts"
on a daily basis worth...and the incentive to continue down the same beige path as those before me have?
the HUGE party hat and parade float feel'ns that should tickle me pink...
have been reduced to joys of pain...caress'n the monogrammed seat warmer i had picked from a pile of refried crap at my 5 year anniversary...that was left behind on the island of misfit corporate crap…collect'n dust in the basement…adorn'n the company logo just to mock me as a testament to remind me of my misery!
ummm…yea…no thanx!
i'll play the "game" cuz i have to in order to survive…
well…that is…until i get the lotto numbers right or some wealthy long lost relative leaves me a comfortable fortune...but don't count on me at the company picnic to punch the piñata with acceptably outlined witty banter anytime soon
just give what
a hooker
a holiday
or better yet...a helicopter ride outta here
otherwise…just get off my dress!
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