Monday, December 19, 2016

HELL IS FER CHILDREN

ahhh...the merriest of reason to stock up on xanax this holiglazed season
is finally upon us once again...where parents start loose'n it...and begin booze'n it...just cuz all hell will break loose if they can't get their crippled claws on the latest fad fer their special lil ones reason why they have a cottaged cheese ass...while dear ol' dad goes an extra 100 miles outta his way just to take the "babysitter" home every nite...so they alternate that tired old excuse either #1 ol' Red Fat Ass was systematically busted once again fer drive'n under the influence on Christmas eve nite  or #2 they ended up on Santa's shit list again this year...as to why certain lil kittens wouldn't be gett'n that special lil gift that they've been bitch'n and begg'n fer all year long
in the 50's...every lil lassie went ape shit if dear old saint what's-wrong-with-his-fuck'n-memory...fergot to get them the much sought after hula hoop...so they could pratice the proper way to twerk their tush to keep their future pathetic excuse fer a marriage from fall'n apart by play'n that dreaded "my rocket fell into her socket" game
by the 60's...every lil girl and girlie boy wanted that bearded booze hound to leave them an easy bake oven so they could create their own personalized "baked" goods...just so they could drown out the screams of ma & dad after cocktail hour with the neighbors
once the 70's rocked on...everyone was pett'n somethin' on someone...but fer those unfortunates souls that never got asked to the prom...or even to their high school gang-bang...they always had their pet rock to keep them miserably happy til it was time to see Krusty Kringle the follow'n year
in the 80's...parents were pick'n out their plots if they couldn't get their hands on the bloated Barbie delightfully insane cabbage patch doll that that fruitcaked fellow was suppose to set...beautifully wrapped...under their coke flocked xmas tree
by the 90's...every child would shank a skank if they woke up xmas morn'n without their very own personalized speak'n furby from Papa Noel...which was really just the bastard child as the result of a gremlin and a pickled owl  nite of inbreed'n
and once the new millennium rolled around...it was all just a CROC of shit fer old Saint Dick!

though now a days...unfortunately...in some corners of the globe...

so remember...sometimes yer lil kittens should just be grateful that they live where they live

now get off my dress!

1 comment:

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