HO HO NO MO

so there i was awake'n...2 weeks before xmas...with my x-lax & a mess...

 and me in my dress...fergett'n the stress...but let me digress

i scrolled thru my feed...to read the lastest read...

but the only thing interest'n...was the LADY BUNNY in need

she started a very cute poem...quite funny i had thought...

but she needed an end'n...that couldn't be bought

so without any ado...and without all that glittered glamour...

 i ironed out my poetic thoughts...i only hoped it wouldn't damn her

"TWAS THE NIGHT AFTER CHRISTMAS"

a poem by LADY BUNNY

 **with additional help by

thee unintentionally internationally unknown perform'n illusionist of her own universe...
KRYSTAL KLEER

'Twas the night after Christmas
And all through my "house"
Not a creature was stirring,
Not even a mouse.
Cuz that mouse smelled dead
But no corpse could I find
I checked on my gerbil
It was in my behind.
I'm not a troll
Who lives under a bridge
But the last mouse I found
Was inside of my fridge...

(**insert KRYSTAL KLEER's response here) 

i named him Poonanee

the cutest lil fellow 

a christmas surprise
now frozen in my jello

 
i shrieked when i saw him

float'n still amongst the berries

"i can't serve this to my guests" i thought
"they're a bunch of non heterosexual wannabe vegan mary's"

i tossed and i turned
then i thought it would be hilarious

i'll spread on some whipped cream
and serve it to Joey Arias

she stole my spotlight
that year in Christmas with the Crawford's

that low down dirty cunt
looked more like some dirty paw turds

one by one
my posse would arrive

 
my apartment smelt like Auschwitz
where barely anyone survived

i lit all my pine candles
and febreezed my place like hell

i had to do somethin quick
to cover that deadly smell

first in came Miss Jackie Beat...

next up was Miss CoCo Peru...

Lypsinka looked absolutely smash'n...

unfortunately so did Miss Ru

then all of a sudden i remembered
"where in the hell is that santa stripper named Leo?"

of course who shows up without an invite...
but that fuck'n talentless twat Bianca Del Rio

everyone i could think of
had made it thru my door

"hmmm" i thought "am i miss'n anyone?"
then in walks Miss AMANDA LEPORE

my shitbox was now too full
all my lil MUNSTERS unMAC'd...look'n like a Herman

i knew i couldn't fit anymore
so i canceled the uber i sent fer VARLA JEAN MERMAN

i summoned my helper
to serve my guests more wine

and much to their amusement
it was none other than Miss SHERRY VINE

then finally Miss Arias arrived
from craigslist he found this fellow

 
oh...i could barely contain myself
i couldn't wait to serve Joey my jello

we all sipped on cocktails
while Miss Beat sipped her carrot juice

then Joey's man introduced himself
he said ''hi...my name is Bruce''

i told all my cheap guests who didn't bother to bring me a gift
to get their tired asses in a circle and put down their wine

then i pulled out my rusty dusty ouija board
and decided to conjour up the one and only DIVINE

then we all sat down fer dinner
i sat next to Bruce

they all loved my cook'n
well...except for maybe the goose

the time it had come
to open all the presents

but i hadn't served dessert yet
to all my famous pheasants

i topped off their glasses
i thought i'd be nice

 
then i dished out the jello
and gave Joey the first slice

she poked and she prodded
til Poonanee's tail fell out

she freaked and she screamed
i said ''Joey...it's Christmas...pleez don't shout!''

''there's a dead mouse in my jello''
as i heard her exclaim

paybacks a bitch ain't it
she's got no one to blame

Joey leaped from her chair
and ran out of my house

all because she was served my jello
with a dead gelatinous mouse

the moral of this story is
and i hate to be so blunt

i am the LADY BUNNY
so don't fuck with me cunt!

Happy HO HO HO from yer fav-o-rit unintentionally internationally unknown perform'n illusionist of my own universe!

now get off my dress!