40 YEAR OLD CAKE

picture it kittens...the year was 1983 and the colorful witty and widowed

mother who so boisterously exclaimed to the nurses "GIVE MY DAUGHTER THE SHOT" (which i  refuse to ever watch with anyone since i turn into a complete pathetic puddle each and every time i watch that scene without fail) in the sublime dramedy "TERMS OF ENDEARMENT" starr'n SHIRLEY MACCLAINE...DEBRA WINGER and JACK NICHOLSON (which incidentally won SHIRLEY a well deserved award fer best actress the follow'n year at the oscar's if anyone's wonder'n)

a razor tongued blue haired bingo wing'n matriarch of the dysfunctional

family from Raytown (played by "CAROL BURNETT SHOW" alumni VICKI LAWRENCE) snappy poly blender in pearls THELMA HARPER ran the roost fer 6 seasons...deal'n with the daily dilemma's of her extended family who never seemed to fly the coop on the hit series "MAMA'S FAMILY"

and my teenrager adventures suddenly became heavily sedated by my 

very own casio cassette player (thanx to the Cudahy's that used to live down the road from our farm) til the very wee hours of the morn'n try'n to pre-Napster the perfect mixed tape without all that damn annoy'n auctioneer ramblin' from the dj...when i needed to turn off my family's incessant WWE matches and tune myself onto the birth of the best songs that had shaped my pre unintentionally internationally unknown perform'n illusionist of my own universe life...

BUTT...

i can't believe that some of my all time fav-o-rit musical memories that defined my teenrager years are now turn'n fuck'n 40 this year and have still stood the test of time when many of their contemporaries unfortunately have not (so with that said) let's move onto my all time top 10 fav hits from 1983 that defined my generational letter (in no particular order cuz i love them all)

#10 is the rock band from San Franny that originally formed in 1973 with

STEVE PERRY as their lead vocalist (and my bi-leveled babe) however i was unaware of JOURNEY and their popularity until their video dropped fer "SEPARATE WAYS" off their 8th studio album "FRONTIERS" and i personally wanted every member in my own "separate way" (if ya catch my drift kittens) well except the follically challenged  broomstick (i just felt he was phone'n it in durin' his whole appearance in the video and couldn't commit!)

though STEVE hung up his painted on jeans with the band in 1998...JOURNEY's wheels are still turn'n and tour'n with their replacement vocalist ARNEL PINEDA since 2007 and from what i've heard doin a fine job a that

#9 all the way from the city of Hagen in West Germany comes the high 

school drop-out GABRIELLE SUSANNE KERNER best known to the world as NENA with her riesenerfolg hit (that's "huge success" to you slow pokers) "99 LUFTBALLONS" from her self titled debut album with an english version "99 REDBALLONS" to satisfy all those skol chew'n corn whack'n tractor chauffeurs with their walkman headphones on the highest volume sett'n...pierce'n their ear drums all over Ottumwa, Iowa on those hot and sweaty summers in the field as they sang off key much to the chagrin of the farm animals (even though it's lyrics got lost in translation) with 6 albums front'n her band and 13 albums as a solo artist since 1989...NENA still enjoys the stage from time to time...however...you'll have to hop aboard a Pan Am express to enjoy her pipes in Hamburg, Germany these days

#8 originally the flutist in 1976 fer the band DRAGON'S PLAYGROUND

eventually ANNIE LENNOX would join forces with DAVE STEWART and become'n the lead singer fer the band THE TOURISTS from 1977 til 1980...though ANNIE would not become a household name until become'n the most celebrated female gender bender of the 1980's with her neon orange buzz cut in their newly formed band EURYTHMICS with their synthesized smash "SWEET DREAMS (ARE MADE OF THIS)" the 4th and final single off their 2 album of the same name make'n a merried of melodramatic melodies thru-out the 1980's until ANNIE decided to break out on her own by 1990 until they regrouped once again before the new millennium fer a lil bit-o "PEACE" in 1999 though the band was inducted into the Rock & Roll hall of fame in 2022...ANNIE has decided to finish'n tour'n (though she does pop up on stage every now and then to this day) focus'n more on her political activism and many charitable humanitarian contributions with women's rights and AIDS...DAVE has decided to keep his legacy goin by finish'n up a 40th ANNIVERSARY SWEET DREAMS TOUR thru-out europe with 3 replacement singers...til he begins his US leg with BRYAN ADAMS in 2024...buy yer tickets here...WHY NOT?

#7 born PATRICIA MAE ANDRZEJEWSKI from the BIG APPLE in 1953

trained as a classical singer with a 4.5 octave range...PATRICIA began rock'n and roll'n on stage in 1979 under her spandexed persona PAT BENETAR broad'n her popularity by 1983 with a whole new set of fans from Fresno to Finland with her call to arms #1 smash "LOVE IS A BATTLEFIELD" off her 5th studio album "LIVE FROM EARTH" release'n 7 more until 2003 with "GO" you can still catch PAT and her long time guitarist hubby NEIL GIRALDO work'n the casino circuits around the country to this day (i've had the pleasure 4 times to date and trust me...she NEVER disappoints) the rock'n pair even released some of their greatest hits fer a retell'n of the Romeo and Juliet musical fer the 21st century "INVINCIBLE" fer a limited run at the end of 2022 (here's hope'n it'll tour sometime soon)

#6 the next band 1st formed in 1978 across the pond in Birmingham

England and would go thru a few changes before finally settle'n on lead singer SIMON LE BON in 1980...by 1983 british new wave bad boys SIMON...JOHN...NICK...ANDY and ROGER of DURAN DURAN would take the planet by storm with their hit single "IS THERE SOMETHING I SHOULD KNOW" that shot to #1 right outta the gate in the UK off their 3rd album "SEVEN AND THE RAGGED TIGER" the band had gone thru many incarnations fer the past 40 years with side projects...16 studio releases ("DANSE MACABRE" bein' their latest and darkest to date) and 12 different members thru-out their formation nonetheless the 4 most memorable members SIMON...JOHN...NICK and ROGER are back together and tour'n like nobody's biz and if you get the chance to see em live...TAKE IT!

#5 born WILLIAM MICHAEL ALBERT BROAD in Middlesex England

WILLIAM started out as the lead singer of the punk band GENERATION X from 1976 to 1981 til he decided to go out on his own as the spike haired peroxided pop punker with the snarly Elvis quiver and my high school hard-on (hush...this is my blog...deal with it!) BILLY IDOL declared more...m-o-r-e...M-O-R-E from all of us with his come hither hit "REBEL YELL" off his 2nd album of the same name...release'n 6 more albums and tour'n ever since...include'n bein' the 1st ever artist to perform a live intimate concert fer a selective audience of botoxed bimbo's and garish groupie's at the Hover Dam that was turned into a motion picture performance back in april tis year (check yer local list'ns fer showtimes)

#4 appropriately placed since she was the 4th of 12 siblings in a crowded 

1 bedroom cabin along the banks of Little Pigeon River in Tennessee where this lil lassie began her musical career before most girls hadda deal with "flo come'n to town" at the tender age of 10...with a wig collection to rival any drag queen's collection DOLLY PARTON is the patron saint of country music with a career spann'n 6 decades...DOLLY crossed over to country pop in '83 duet'n with teddy bear daddy KENNY ROGERS on their lovely collaboration "ISLANDS IN THE STREAM" released on DOLLY's "GREATEST HITS" album and DOLLY hasn't stopped since...

with over 200 compilation albums...48 studio albums...starr'n in 12 motion 

pictures (with over 400 tv appearances) and 1 theme park named after her (plus beyond numerous philanthropic endeavors as well) under her sequined belt...include'n team'n up with Duncan Hines...DOLLY was pleasantly shocked as shit when she was inducted into the ROCK and ROLL hall of fame back in 2022 without have'n a single "rock" album released until this year...aptly titled "ROCKSTAR" collaborate'n with a plethora of artists...also release'n the 1st ever listen'n event with footage and interviews in theaters...cuz WHY NOT!

#3 began her musical journey in 1978 when she met saxophonist JOHN

TURI in Brooklyn and became the lead singer of the band BLUE ANGEL record'n a powerfully poppy new wave demo that would finally get released in 1980 when they signed onto Polydor records though the band would soon disband after only one album and the world would become mesmerized by the betty-boo songbird CYNDI LAUPER after the release of her debut solo album "SHE'S SO UNUSUAL" and the global impact of her open'n single "GIRLS JUST WANNA HAVE FUN" 

release'n 10 more albums...starr'n in 12 movies...a plethora of tv appearances and PRIDE events around the globe...include'n winn'n best musical album fer penn'n the songs to "KINKY BOOTS" and recently release'n Cyndi's doc "LET THE CANARY SING" at the tribeca film festival that is tour'n theaters around the country currently

#2 as the drummer...guitarist and singer in bands "BREAKFAST CLUB"

in 1979 and "EMMY AND THE EMMY'S" in 1980...it wasn't til 1983 when a young whipper snapper from Bay City, Michigan scored her first billboard #1 chart topper with "HOLIDAY" off her debut self titled album "MADONNA" which began pave'n her 40 year career as the QUEEN OF THE DANCE FLOOR...

MADONNA LOUISE VERONICA CICCONE is thee most truly fashionably forward famous goddess and female I-C-O-N-I-C musical performer of all time...recognized by the Guinness books fer sell'n over 400 million albums...78 music videos...starr'n in 27 flicks...11 concert tour dvd's...7 children's books...6 kids...2 documentaries and 1 non profit RAISING MALAWI to help an impoverished nation in Africa among many many M-A-N-Y other philanthropic endeavors since her rise to the top...

M is currently sell'n out her 40 year spann'n career with the "THE CELEBRATION TOUR" across the globe...if you haven't yet...get yer tix here before it's too late cuz you'll kick yerself in the cooter if you don't go to see this tour de force live...trust me!

#1 of course no one embodied the look...the sound and the complete 

charismatic charm of 1983 more than lead sing'n gender bender (and my save'n grace to this day) the legendary BOY GEORGE and CULTURE CLUB with their only #1 global domination of the infectious pop diddy "KARMA CHAMELEON" off their 2nd brilliant album "COLOUR BY NUMBERS" sell'n more than 7 million copies that bought the band many fancy cars and homes cement'n their place in 80's nostalgic history...

release'n 6 full studio albums all together before restructure'n themselves nonetheless still continue'n to travel around the world perform'n to millions of fans both young and old...maxi pads and muscle mary's...trannies and grannies...

though there is no doubt that BOY GEORGE was and still is the focal point of the band's success who has also had a stellar solo career of his very own in between the break-up's and shake-up's like dj'n in every corner of the globe...release'n 9 studio albums of his own...penn'n the lyrics and starr'n in the brilliant musical "TABOO" (that i was lucky enough to see in both London and the Big Apple) create'n his own fashion line B-RUDE...curate'n his own ICH BIN KUNST on canvas...

appear'n on numerous reality series from "THE VOICE" to "I'M A CELEBRITY...GET ME OUT OF HERE" and anyone that would give him a proper celebrity ransom to have him appear...

release'n 3 autobiographies "TAKE IT LIKE A MAN" in 1995 "STRAIGHT" in 2005 and BOY's latest out now simply titled "KARMA" that should most definitely be on everyone's xmas list this year!

BOY will soon be portray'n the very scrupulously evil CAPTAIN HOOK in

the newest adaptation of "PETER PAN" this decem fer a limited engagement across the pond in Birmingham, UK (get yer tix here)...

before return'n to the Big Apple once again back on broadway where he belongs in 2024 starr'n as the zany enthusiastic club owner HAROLD ZOLDER in "MOULIN ROUGE" with no signs of stopp'n anytime soon!

and there ya have it kittens...the songs that shaped my soul and defined

a generation of X's...enjoy this mix of 40 other notably honorable mentions that are turn'n 40 and GET OFF MY DRESS!

A FOREIGN AFFAIR

picture it kittens...the year was 1995 and my all time fav-o-rit foreign flick

at the time was released "MURIEL'S WEDDING" starr'n TONI COLLETTE as the family outcast who yearned fer a bigger better life fer herself with a new name and a new location from her small minded town (which was an all too familiar theme with me since it paralleled my own life at the time)

ANNIE LENNOX was tell'n us how she had "NO MORE I LOVE YOU'S" to give out anymore

and i saved up for a full year work'n 4 jobs around the clock from 5:30 am at the Hilton to Northwest Athletic onto Tidal Wave before end'n my shift at Bruegger's Bagels by 10:30 pm just so i could  jet set off on my own fer the very 1st time to my dream destination across the pond and begin my life long love affair with the likes of Big Ben... 

of course i had high hopes of runn'n into BOY GEORGE somewhere on the streets of London as well...why not!

after 3 anxiety riddled days bein' held as a hostile hostage in my palatial

room at the Conrad Hilton along the Thames thanx to no cell phone service at the time (well cuz i had no cell phone) and the queen ignore’n my incessant phone calls to let me crash at Balmoral fer the next 2 week to save my credit card from a coronary cuz she was deal’n with Diana’s mechanic at the time…

binge'n on british mtv countdowns and thee most absurdly hysterical comedy series about 2 boozy broads and the House of Lacroix…

stare'n forlornly out the window at the park'n lot down below from time to time til i finally had my CHER moment and checked myself into a hostel 5 miles away

unfortunately i had checked out without check'n all my belong'ns and left

behind my cherished 90210 hearthrobber Brandon Walsh tee that i bought specifically to wear on my vaca...before bunk'n with 3 middle easterner chums in basically a large closet with 4 cots in each corner and a miniature sink against the wall...they were in London study'n english with only one of them speak'n barely there broken english to me (who knows...maybe the other 3 could'a been fake'n it like my feel'ns fer gazpacho and pickled pork rinds) in either case...

while they were in school i trotted around the cobbled streets skipp'n the usual 1st timer's tourist traps and instead discover'n all the back roads and by-ways...nooks and crannies...chumm'n it up with the local drunk dames

til one afternoon i met this very frenched fry named Raphael at a local 

pub on one of my afternoon excursions who had me at "ellu" with his bedroom blue eyes and his very french savior flare'...i ended up spend'n most of the day and nite with him...he had shown me around the city to all the hidden hot spots til we ended up back at his flat (that's british fer apartment kittens) and after a few shots of chilled absinthe along with some brie on a baked slice of brioche…he showed off his "BIG BEN" and i...

and as dawn broke…my french connection so eloquently whispered to me "it's Raphael's sleep time...you will go now!" (and that is a direct quote) so i managed to figer out my way back to my hostel which didn’t make me hostile in the slightest as i felt i had lived there in a previous life and knew exactly my way around the city without any further uncomfortable incidents  

the follow'n nite i ended up at The RAW Club after find'n a flyer that said 

BOY GEORGE was goin to be there...so of course you know i was hyperventilate'n like a hyena all day cuz i had waited since 1982 fer this moment and after 3 hours that nite at the club with no BOY in sight...i was ready to leave devastated after i asked the bartender when BOY would be perform'n to which he replied "no mate...BOY's only DJ'n tonite" so of course my world shattered as i sucked down my shitty warm guinness and headed fer the front door until i noticed a large hat float'n thru the sea of mollied mary's on the dancefloor claw'n at the hat fer their attention...

til the hat turned around and vehemently shouted "FUCK OFF...I'M WURK'N!" it was BOY fuck'n GEORGE who i would indiscriminately dance next to him perched in the DJ booth fer most of his shift until on one of his musical breaks where he leaned in close to me and asked where i was from to which i replied excitedly "Minneapolis" to which he replied "Oh...i've bean thur before...it's a bit cold it'int it?" (i didn't have the heart to tell him i was the one who threw up all over his feet when he was there last perform'n at First Avenue)

on my last nite after 2 weeks on my own in London...i popped into some 

seedy underground club that i was utterly unaware was a BDSM/M&M sorta dance club...with dark black walls wrapped in chain link fence and red halogen lights indiscriminately litter'n the ceil'n...as i made my way thru the dingy leather clad crowd slowly sipp'n on my only bottle of miller lite elephant piss...i was sad to see my european vaca was unfortunately come'n to an end so as i headed to the loo (that's british fer bathroom kittens) a figure had emerged from out of the shadows to ask fer my name...

turns out his name was Neal and he was on his way out as well so we exchanged a few more pleasantries at the stalls til he asked me to accompany him back to his friends place which was right around the corner…he said i could stay over since his friend was spend'n the weekend in Provence...i thought EH! why not!

well if you ever been to London unlike myself at the time...i learned that

nothing is just right around the corner since most of the streets were in circles that seemed to never end and after roughly 20 minutes into our midnite walk i started to really think maybe i was on the guest list fer a descendant of Jack the Ripper

by the time we finally reached his friends flat 45 minutes later i had felt a

bit more at ease with Neal until he unlocked the front door to his mate's flat and all we both could hear was a loud and passionate "oh oui baise moi plus fort" echo'n down the long hallway (you can do yer own translation work there kittens) so i simply said "lemme guess...yer friend ain't in Provence?" needless to say...Neal was the perfect gentlemen that even'n as we both crashed on his friends unpolished hard wood floor as neither of us polished off ours and ended up bein great friends who would let me crash at his place in Muswell Hill in the suburbs of London fer the next 5 times i visited...exchange'n xmas cards up until 2005 fer some reason...oh how i miss London

BUTT anyways...

after sett'n up my very merry jingle jangles thru-out my humble lil shitbox

along with a candle opera represent’n my ghosts of fabulous past present and future encounters...i reminisced about my obsessional love affair into the foreign film genre…

when i seen my 1st foreign movie poster plastered all over the tiled walls of the London Underground which was “MURIEL’S WEDDING” and though that movie was filmed down unda…i started to rekindle about my many times cross'n the pond many moons ago which fer 4 of them were durin' the holiglazed season and though i only expanded my horizons outside of London once...

to see the 2nd incarnation of BANANARAMA open fer BELINDA CARLISLE who opened fer CULTURE CLUB down by the sea in Brighton in '98…i decided to marinate my love affair with the United Kingdom once again by visit'n outside the confines of BIG BEN's backyard via a mini movie marathon last week start'n with the UK's answer to Jake Gyllenhaal and Heath Ledger's love affair of 2005... 

with 2017's "GOD'S OWN COUNTRY" starr'n european heart throbbers JOSH O'CONNOR and ALEC SECAREANU set roughly 4 hours north of London in the town of Yorkshire and though i loved "BROKEBACK MOUNTAIN" fer it's scenery and storyline...just add a foreign accent to it and my knees pads instantly go weak

next up was filmed mostly around Hastings, East Sussex that is a very 

dark thriller from 2017 starr'n PAUL MCGANN and SEAN TEAL as 2 non heterosexual biscuit biters who pay the price fer bait'n a bigoted CASPER crusade'n owner of a modest country inn only to find misconception...mayhem and murder is on the menu in "B&B"

in order to lighten the mood...i stumbled across the movie "CONNECT"

from 2019 only cuz of the stunn'n scottish star all of 5'7 inches tall KEVIN GUTHRIE on the poster who deeply struggles with deep despair and a voice that haunts him no matter where he goes

and just so you don't think that my list is all about beards and ball sacs...

if yer a merry maxi padder...yer either gonna feel totally empowered or absolutely terrified by this 2022 british folk-arty horror flick "MEN" starr'n JESSIE BUCKLEY as a widowed women who decides to take a holiday in the countryside after her hubby passes...only to be terrified and tormented by the local nut scratchers

last up i finished off with 2019's "THE DIG" filmed in the irish countryside

starr'n beefy manwich MOE DUNFORD as RONAN CALLAHAN (which is all so gravy train whichever name he wants to go by) anywho'zll'ding...RONAN gets released from prison after 15 years fer the murder of Niamh that he can't remember commit'n and her father becomes obsessed with find'n her body on his land where he believes it's buried so RONAN decides to help out to prove his innocence until he goes on a bender one nite out in hopes it'll jar his memory as to the events of that fateful nite unfold

well there ya have it...my picks fer a lil european vacation from all the tired

sappy crappy kringy kringley lifetime holiglazed flicks out there...now GET OFF MY DRESS!