Monday, January 7, 2013

hit me with yer best shot

"well you're the real tough cookie...with the long history...of breaking little hearts...like the one in me...that's OK...lets see how you do it...
put up your dukes...and lets get down to it"

remember when this was just the bridge lead'n to the chorus line to that 1979 smash hit by operatic stick turned rocker chic Pat Benatar?

and when collect'n  yer fav-o-rit magazines...
consisted of  these

and not THESE!

no one puts up their dukes any more...
instead of shoot'n from the hip these days...
it's a lot more hip to just shoot!

as a substitute of rehash'n the headlines...that turn the mental cases into movie stars of the week...i thought i'd substitute nonsense fer knowledge

case in point...

of all the carnage that's happened from Columbine to Connecticut...and everywhere else in between over the years...the past and the present

what's the ONE thing people in history remember the most?
HITLER

STALIN

GACY

BUNDY

oops i mean this one

the list goes on and on...and it's pointless to escape it...cuz that's ALL the media...the schools...the news...the net and water cooler conversations
consist of when a tragedy happens...give'n the relatively small amount of the unstable...somethin' they're able to cling to

today's fame is as easy as a packet of instant oatmeal...
 everyone will be talk'n about them!

outside of maybe...at max...the national/local paper...the nightly news and the plethora of craptastic entertainment "journalists" identify'n the victims by name in whatever gruesome attack that has happened at the moment...
while serenade'n the audience in slow motion moments of the victim's life...

molested by the current top 10 pop or r&b slow jam (depend'n on the color of their skin)...just to pull at yer heatstrings long enough...until they warp yer think'n cap and trap you into the mind of endless stories about the killer

i was recently give'n someone's opinion on the 2nd amendment rights as an american during the holiglazed season and i'm here to tell ya...i'm over hear'n stories about people's 2nd amendment rights....PERIOD!
when the 2nd amendment was written...OVER 200 YEARS AGO kitten...it took someone roughly 20 seconds to load their kill'n machine and they could only get...at max...3 rounds off in under a minute

and though i wasn't around durin' those times...there are very few cases (outside of war and maybe a shoot out at yer local piggy bank)...
 where someone went batshit crazy on a bunch of non suspect'n victims

and even if there had been...given the artillery available at the time...they still wouldn't have created the same amount of devastation that's been readily available these days...at yer downtown gun shops...gun shows...
or at yer local big box kill'n machine store

thanx to groups like the NRA...
 (Non Remorseful Assholes)

and gun manufacturers hide'n behind the bedroom doors...have'n their wildest 3way with the 2nd Amendment on all 4's take'n it from both ends

but fine...for arguments sakes...we'll use the 2nd amendment as a right

i grew up in a house of 10...my dad was a hunter with his hunt'n buddies
that's my dad far right and my older brother* Jim next to him...and my 3rd cuz Sean in the high waters...and i guess he'd be my great uncle Frank (though i don't remember gett'n any gifts from him so he couldn't have been that great...umm i'm kidd'n any family members that may not take my humor with grains of sea salt rimm'n yer margarita) behind him and 2nd cuz Hugh...

i'm sure i was gett'n a mint julip facial mask and pedicure by my cuz Carey and Shelly durin' this photo op

anywho...where was i?

oh yea...so my dad had a simple hunt'n rifle or 2 and bb gun

the rifle was used only fer food fer the table..
while the bb gun was used fer that unfortunate pesky waskily wabbit that would try and visciously steal the family crops fer his own selfish gain

we had the fortunate luxury of never live'n thru a home invasion...
or being held hostage...though my star wars cards suffered a different fate at the hands of terrorists* (known as my brothers)...and i would have to deal with hostage negotiations fer their safe return

i've seen many a movies back in the hay day...
with the extravagant display of the lasers and the bullet ballet shread'n bodies into swiss cheese in seconds

from the age of 6 thru today...and yet i've managed to never pick up a single loaded weapon to make a statement...in front of alot of people
bigger than a blush brush!

well...outside of one time as a teen at summer camp in '83...where i was under supervision and give'n a bb gun fer target practice only...
and then in '86...one bullet (well ok...it was a BB ..but fer dramatic effect and to pull at yer heart strings) turned out to become best friends with my knee cap...thanx to my best friend's girlfriend at the time...who says she just wanted to "mess around" (anyway ya look at it...it stil fuck'n hurt like hell)

after that devastate'n incident...TO ME...i vowed i would never pick up another loaded gun fer the rest of my life...and i haven't to this day...
well at least one's that weren't attached to the hips

so fast forward to the past decade...

where insane incidents have turned into insane money makers

headlines fight'n for the front lines with the most bank fer their buck spent

sensationalize'n the unsensational...turn'n maniac mortals into movie stars over nite...leave'n behind those left behind

turn'n irrational national society club members...

like we need more advice from another pasty white rainsin rancher!

instead of succumb'n to common sense...chaos consumes and takes over the consumer

pasty white preachers point'n their finger...

pasty white political losers milk'n their 15 minutes...

ummm...Mikey...if that was the case...how did yer G*D not stop the1000's of the innocent kittens from the hands of yer G*D's preachers?...yea right!
shut the F*CK UP and be gone...before a house falls on top of you to

or this pasty ass raisin rancher....

 hmmm....i'm sense'n a pattern here kittens...aren't you?

listen...i am all fer own'n a gun to hunt fer food fer those whose chose...i am all fer own'n a gun fer personal protection and use'n it when it's demanded...i'm even fer those who own guns as their collection pieces to showcase...but if that's just the sole purpose to collect them...then why have stock piles of ammunition fer them?

target practice with an semiautomatic...really?

these guns were not designed to hunt fer a herd of deer...
 or take out a pack of wolves

they were invented to cause mass destruction in a matter of seconds...fer those unfortunate times when you have to go to war...plain and simple!

and unless you plan on bein' attacked by gang of zombies anytime soon...
there is ZERO need to own one of these with ammunition...PERIOD!

like Boy George sung so boldly back in 1984...

thoughts and prayers won't stop a bullet...hollyweird flicks or video games aren't to blame nor will they stop a bullet...nor will conservative pundits preach'n on their soapboxes about their 2nd amendment rights stop a bullet

if you want action...demand it!
there's always gonna be nut cases out there!

now get off my dress!

oh yea...and don't ferget
















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