Monday, January 14, 2013

master bayshun pt 2: text on line 2

*disclaimer* due to a malfucktion with the picture loader on here...today's episode is like my last relationship...HOLLOW and EMPTY of visual simulation!

though what you are about to read is truely based on actual events...you'll just have to close yer eyes and visualize...besides...i can't be expected to do the work ALL THE TIME...enjoy!

so there i was one sunday afternoon at my neighboorhood coffee shop read'n over pages of regurgitated crap posted on facebook and finish'n up my latest blog about the Little Monster Bowl...while flipp'n thru annoy'n requests on desperadoville...

or a4a...which...after 3 years of bein' "sucked" into it (pun intended)...i now referred to it simply as assh*les4assh*les

i responded to a simple request by some 20 somethin' tattoo'd potential failure to "hang out" (but who in the world does he think  i am?...besides thee unintentionally internatioinally unknown perform'n illusionist of my own universe)...everyone knows that's just  hookerville code fer "rock out with yer cock out"

i had nothin' better to do...so i emailed him my digits and finished up my non dairy...dairy...mocha frappichino latte chi tea...i mean red bull...and headed fer home

a few hours later...after od'n on rerun's of the hysterically fab-u-less after school special knock-offs of  "strangers with candy"...an unsuitable friend called pretty much plead'n to get pollinated by yers cruelly

kittens...i have'nt resided in desperadoville since the 90's..when i started work'n at the 90's...and though repeat performances have happened from time to time...i'm more into one-of-a-kind treasures these days

so...as the unmemorable caller tried desperately to remind me who they were...i picked the phone back up after 2 minutes and noticed a text had come thru

no name attached?

hmmm...a new pearl at the bottom of my electronical ocean of requests
i politely interupted the caller...who now just seemed like a rusty coin from the street that i had no interest in pick'n up...and told them i would donate 10% of my feelings to his skank account

as i played the ping pong text game of who's this?...i realized it was the 20 somethin' from earlier in the day...finally gett'n back to me in an untimely manner...but why should i be surprised...most 20 somethin's these days have zero clue what a manner is...unless it comes in a downloadable app or heard on some reality show

we made plans to "hang out" as it were...in an hour...when i was done file'n my feelin's in the "why not!" drawer...and he was done look'n fer the next best thing that was within 15 feet from his reach

a week would go by...and while i was enjoy'n bloody's...with my fab friend K followed by an even fabular dinner and watch'n "kinky boots" at her palace...the generational gap texted outta the blue and wanted to "hang out"

after inform'n K of him...she said to invite him over to join in...why not!

after finish'n dinner and the movie...it was back to my palace fer some pre-fornicational 4 square...but this generation was ready to count sheep...so off to dreamland it was

by morn'n...he has opened the flood gates of his life...his drug/alcohol acrobatic act he had to get in tact...that he met me as 80's Boy George at halloween nite a year ago...BUT...that we actually met a year earlier

at 1st i was like...

then it felt like i had just checked into the bates motel!

hmmm...years earlier?...i don't recall ANY 20 somethin's catch my interest accept fer a date i reported on when i began ramblin'n on about anything and everything when i created this blog

he said..."you know my dad!"

i paused fer a second...then thought

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

no matter how many times you call me "daddy"...

I AM NOT YER FATHER!

ok...i need to scrub that 4th dimensional connection outta my mind...and finish'n hot glue'n my lobster together...so could you pleez get off my dress!













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