BANG*BANG*...i shot you down

i think it was Miss Sarkisian who said it the best back in the year 1966

"i was 5 and he was 6...we rode of horses made of stix

he wore black and i wore white...he would always win the fight

BANG*BANG*...he shot me down...BANG*BANG*...i hit the ground

BANG*BANG*...that awful sound...BANG*BANG*...my baby shot me down"

oh the good ol' days when you and yer best beat off buddy down the block

would get together (to get yer rocks off) by participate'n in some sexually titillate'n make believe world of role play'n...with you in some colorfully cultural appropriation costume...while yer buddy would teach you who had the upper hand...and who was gonna gonna be his submissive bottom boy that nite at yer back yard "sleepover"...unfortunately...

we no longer live in a make believe world where Matt is the marshal and Miss Kitty is the "head" mistress...gather'n "lady garden's" at the Hurry Back Inn fer her clientele

it's the 20 year anniversary of COLUMBINE...and just like any wedd'n 

anniversary...it's been celebrated pretty much every year with another "CELEBRATION"...and in some cases unfortunately...a "MASS CELEBRATION"

i remember when our very own lil purple paisley man himself just told us

kids...he wanted us to "party like it's 1999"

unfortunately ...ever since 1999 has come and gone...the new kids on the block

haven't had time to party since they've had to attend funeral after funeral...in fact...there has been over 230 school "celebrations"...from kindergarten to college...with 11 of them bein' a "MASS CELEBRATION"...

and what's really changed?

the last MASS "celebration" in the country of New Zealand 2 months back

seen 51 "celebrators" push'n up daises...just cuz of their "religious beliefs...and before that you may ask?...well...it had been just a measly 22 years earlier in the year 1997...where unfortunately only 6 "celebrators" were snuffed out...which technically wasn't considered a MASS "celebration"...it was more like an afternoon picnic "celebration"...but it only took the Lord of the Rings parliament within weeks of the 2019 "celebration"...with a vote of 119 to the 1 prick (lets be real here...there's ALWAYS gotta be THAT ONE who wants to sell his or her movie rights to the highest bidder) to ban almost all semiautomatic and assault "celebratory" toys 

though i am without child...only cuz i am reproductively challenged

 of course...and it has n-o-t-h-i-n-g to do with the fact i'd rather have stains on my pillow cases...

than on on my couch..(don't hate)...i don't need one of my own to know the value of their life...i'm broke every fuck'n xmas with the 10,000 nieces and nephews and their offspring's that will most like multiply like bunnies in the near future...that i already have thank you!

 now there's been 8 "celebrations" already at schools across the good ol' 

US of (trigger happy) Asswipes...ever since the new year rang in...with the most recent one at Stem school in Highlands Ranch CO...though the celebrators are now become'n deflector shields fer the rest of their classmates...like 18 year old Kendrick Castillo was...

or 21 year old Riley C Howell at University of North Carolina in Charlotte

i don't know about how some parents feel about their kids become'n casualties of war instead of cross'n the finish line on graduation day...

but here's a break down state by state...(from a reputable news organization)...how yer leaders feel about pass'n laws to protect yer lil johnny rotten or mary sue from turn'n into a slice of swiss cheese

but leave it to the sunshine state to finally come up with a proper solution

 at last...by make'n 'em [teachers] honorary members of the S.W.A.T. team...cuz you know...there's nothin' more like a curriculum challenge than try'na keep'n yer lil kittens safe from a trigger happy mental case...and i fer one...am glad some governor came to their senses fer some change

(insert asinine laugh here)

of course...if you happen to have a non pastey white puke bucket...

you "might" run into a few extra problems if their teacher hasn't had their extra frothy mocha kappa latte'd chino one morn'n...i'm just say'n!

i think CNN reporter Brooke Baldwin said it best by not say'n a word

fer supposedly bein the strongest most safe country on the planet

we have thee most back assward laws that would rather protect a 200 year old law (to their interpretation)...than protect'n kids so they can collect their $200 fer pass'n go

now get off my dress!

BANG! BANG!

i think CHER said it best when she sang all about it in that one song...

i was 5 and he was 6...we rode on horses made of stix...he wore black and i wore white...he would always win the fight

BANG! BANG!...he shot me down...BANG! BANG! i hit the ground

BANG! BANG!...that awful sound...BANG! BANG!...my baby shot me down

with that in mind...if thoughts and prayers were like nuts and berries...we'd all have a bowl of granola

so another "big bad" lone wolf shooter makes the front pages yet AGAIN...

in Sutherland TX on sunday this time...end'n the chapters to 26 innocent...perhaps not...(let's be optimistic...i mean realistic here)... kittens...14 of them bein' under the age of consent...maybe even some of them were my weekly readers...which really pisses me off...but alas...we'll never know...well...that is until i'm able to use my dismal star power and gather a group larger than Britian's "DO THEY KNOW IT'S CHRISTMAS"...America's "WE ARE THE WORLD" & the WWF's "LAND OF A 1000 DANCES" combined...comb'n the ends of the earth to find out...i'll be take'n yer  donations at www.gofuckyerself.com

i of course mean this as a very light hearted joke...cuz that's what it is...

these days...#45 or absolute pig shit (which ever yer refer to him as today) and his lobotomized brain dead CASPER crudsade'n followers...and...those who are just the average run of the mill CASPER crusader...scurry to social media in ALL forms...to see who can be the 1st to send out their "thoughts and prayers"  delusional mind numb'n voodoo sorcery to the masses and get credit fer it by Anderson Pooper read'n it live on the air or any of the many other news "personalities"

but ONE lone wolf...with an unkempt amount of facial foliage...kills 8 (and harms a handful of others lets not ferget) and our pussy grabb'n prezimental screams from the top of his seething...high in saturated fat lungs..."DEATH PENALTY"...

well...that is a purdy scary beard y'all...and Jezus would skin him alive if he were around taday pull'n that bullshit...you kin garentee it!

but how did this lone wolf do it one might ask?...hmmmm...he's a terrorist with a beard...i bet he did it with a semi automatic sawed-off AK 47 Uzi shotgun with booster rocket engines right?...ummmm NO!...he walked into a homo depot in NY...and plunked down i'm assume'n was only $39.95 fer 2.5 hours with no hidden fees or mileage charges...which really is yer best option when try'na cause a commotion...in case yer wonder'n

but let's back it up a bit...wasn't it just last month...that a lone wolf...worth millions...gunned downed 58 to an early grave and injure'n roughly 546...give or take a few...just like the video game CALL OF DUTY...from a Vegas hotel...well...his face is a bit outta facial hair control...

but so was James Gandolfini at times...but the one thing he had in common with all these "lone wolves" must'a been that they all were of german/irish decent...and any SANE person knows...a simple pimple solution to that is of course to bake somethin' that freezes beautifully...to all those afflicted...and leave it to the current WH admenstruation and Lord GUT-ROT golpher say'n this was not a political time to talk about gun control...we need to send delusional brain waves of sympathy to the families...friends and former hook-ups to all those who were touched by this awful awful tragedy

seems to me this has happened once or twice before...didn'it?

could someone please refresh my memory fer a minute and explain to me which Muslim country these mental cases came from?...cuz i can't seem to remember!

hmmm...how well did all yer "thoughts and payers" work in those situations?

seriously kittens...fuck yer candles and yer cankerous kumbaya's...

wake up and smell the "paid fer by lobbyists" coffee kittens...

this ISSUE has ZERO to do with some green skinned gimp with a glandular problem...creep'n into yer house in the middle of the nite to take away yer pow pow machines...

the vomit that the 45th asswipe of the US and his tap dance'n around the subject monkeys like Ryan are spew'n have absolutely ZERO to do with the gun issue

it's ALL about one thing...and ONE THING only!

ya know...at this point...i'd believe more in conspiracy theorists

 paint'n the picture say'n this was all just another small scale "OSWALD moment" to distract everyone from the real issue

so get off my dress!