cuts like a knife: a reflective poem

tis the season...

it's that time of year

blessed are the homely...

the hags...this silly queer!

icicles are sparkling...

peppermint fills the air

a stripper goes home...

with some big jolly stare

snowflakes begin dance'n...

from under nite skies of blue

an internationally unknown ferry...

with a package full of goo

tinsel and baubles...

twinkle with delight

a fruticake in wait'n...

for someone's silent nite

the tree has been trimmed...

with all of my love

i've scarred all the carolers...

and burnt the damn dove

roast'n the chesnuts...

champayne would be splash'n

don't fret yer pretty lil ass sweetie darl'n...

cuz you know i'll look absolutely smash'n

wrapped in a pashmina...

unwrapped from a prezzie

a regretful regift'n...

from a cheap spiteful lezzie

in come the north winds...

and out blows the trash

it's hard to settle down...

while gagg'n from yer gash

so pleez don't you hesitate...

you would'nt want to linger

can't i make you come in...

with just one finger?

as year comes to a close...

creep the feel'ns of distress'n

.

but a gift from the golden state...

could be such a bless'n

i don't need a fortune teller...

to help me digress

i've said all i've come to say...

now get the fuck off my dress!

thanx...give'n me memories

it's that time of the year again to help propagate the propaganda...

that we should give thanx to John Smith fer winn'n fair and square cheat'n at that game of "top or bottom" with Tonto and his peeps many many harvests ago...cuz we all know this is just the catalyst that helped propagate the propaganda from corporations...turn'n regulary insensitive assholes into aggressive zombies jacked up on LSD...

savagely hunt'n fer the latest and greatest piece of over priced crap we can't live without fer 24 hrs...

all made by the skillfull hands of Herminio and his classmates

all packaged up in an unbelievable fantasy that comes 4 weeks later about some jolly burglar that'll come down yer chimney at least once a year...but that's...another story!

it made me reflect on what is it that i'm really thankful fer...

fer most of my life...i have been influenced by female and female persuasions...and though immediate family should be apparently has to be recognized just to save face when it comes time to make sure yer part of the read'n of the will...there has been many more influences that have molded me to be who i am today 

one of my biggest influences of acceptance was when my grama Viola recognized i was bitten by the 80's gender bender bug when i was live'n with her in my late early teen years...and she tore down her brown polyester curtains in her live'n room to stitch me my very fer taste of the spotlight

of course...let me begin by recognize'n how eternally grateful & thankful that i am fer bein' thee unintentionally internationally unknown perform'n illusionist of my own universe that i am fer all of you kittens that have followed my ramblin's fer the past 5 years...cuz without you...well...i'd be just a whore in heels without no wheels

but i'd like to go waaay back where it all began...i could not and most likely would not...be who i am today if it wasn't fer the enormous generosity of the HALL family that took me in durin' the roughest patch in my life and guide'n me in the right direction in the late 80's...when i was but a lost kitten without a scratch'n post or a pot to piss in...litterally

to my very 1st employer who tought me the art of stalk'n...when she paid me $2 an hour to report on who came in and outta of her BF's fucktard's cabin that she helped build along lake boulevard in Winona in the 80's...even though i couldn't work more than an hour a nite...it taught me the valuable lesson to never like someone that much

of course i'm beyond grateful fer my very dear dear incredibly infectious friend Peetrinella fer encourage'n me to go under that pink gelled spotlight and push'n me to become the unintentionally internationally unknown performer of my own universe that i am today (and not just cuz she knows exactly what to get me ALMOST every year fer the past 25 years on my b'day and xmas...*wink*wink)

i would never be the unintentionally internationally unknown perform'n illusionist of my own universe that i am...if it wasn't fer my 1st big brake in train'n heels by one DEE RICHARDS...so from the bottom of my disorganized make-up case...thankie thankie

 and anyone that really really really knows me...knows that i am eternally thankful and WORSHIP the quicksand she walks on

but i'm also thankful fer the many maniacs this year that made me realize that laughter is the best medicine when realize'n insanity is so sensational

like this hysterically hemmoriodal "christian" cunt ruffle...Becky Rommel...who took us on a roller coaster of laughter and lost her ability to form a topic and stick with it...all thanx to the SUPREME COURT's rule'n over same sex marriage...or was it about abortions...i don't know...

but perhaps it's cuz she was just pissed she never got the coveted role as Pamela Vorhees...you dedcide

though Sarah Palin may see Russia from her backyard...she had some stiff competition this year from another crackhead from her home town who took crazy to a new level...Kathleen Tonn stole a page right outta Sarah's book of knowledge when she presented the Anchorage Assembly a tampoon from the great book of batshit crazy...which apparently ties in with equal right fer the LGBT citizens of Alaska HOTH

but really...throw on a stock'n cap and a shade of brimstone and fire lip gloss and i think we all know who this really was

but the most thankful i and the pethra of comedians thru-out the country...

are most grateful for this past year...is the balls to the walls batshit shenanigans...and poster child fer reasons why abortions must continue to be legalized...is one Kimmie Davis...who was as stoned as an Islamic hooker when she was incarcerated fer her unapologetic misinterpretations of her comic book passages as to why she couldn't do her damn job...and though we aren't quite sure what will happen to her position in the come'n new year...one things fer sure...would a lil maybelline and conditioner kill ya?

well...there ya have it kittens...it's time fer me to stuff some turkey...

so get off my dress!

the 3 pias little pigs

we all remember that cute lil story about those 3 lil pigs...

and the big bad wolf who tried to huff and puff and bloooow 'em down

unfortunately...that silly lil story has gotten warped and retold...

now these 3 lil pigs and the big bad wolf have infiltrated and indoctrinated the masses who sit on their asses as cheap entertainment these days

but just like any hollyweird remake...the story is bein' retold once again...

this time around though...with these 3 political GOP pigs...give'n it a much much more darker and devious twist than the original version...the only problem we got here though is that these pigs are in it to win it...

with a lil help from this big bad diabolically warped wolf...who apparently has a fetish fer feces

lemme back it up a bit...so the other weekend while the clear...

and completely coherent and conscious winn'n party consist'n of Hills...Marty and the Bernmiester were duke'n it out over the really issues at hand in South Carolina...

these 3 dastardly GOP gimps decided to show their beady lil eyes and shake their pointless pointersin Des Moines Iowa at the National Religious Liberties Convention the Crusaders United Not Take'n Salvation (fer granted) also known as the Fucktards fer Freedom against humanity

led by this absolutely unapologetic ass wipe...pastor fanatical fucktwat Kevin Swanson...preach'n to his fucked flock who decided to attend his sermon...lett'n them know..."it's not a gay time" practically incoherently...and that under no circumstances "don't you dare carve happy faces on open pussy sores"

now here's the thing kittens...though Kev and his congregants have every right to say and listen to whatever bullshit they want to adhere to...to feel complete in their twisted warped little world they've created fer themselves

all cuz of some comic book passages they CHOSE to interpret into their own agenda...create'n their own war...create'n their own confusion and then they think their brain dead zombified fuckards with no consciousness to reality...all of a sudden live in a land where their free speech and their freedom of religion is under attack just cuz muff divers or pole smokers wanna tie the knot

these pias lil piglets with their already well known dirty lil backgrounds...have no chance in H-E-double hockey stix of ever become'n prezzie after WE THE PEOPLE know what their stand'n fer...oh no siree bobbette!

it's a never end'n fight...whatever side you butta yer bread on...it all breaks down to submission or sterilization to them...but like the great BOY said...

there's money in religion

there's money in war

there's money in the bank

so why do i feel so poor?

now get off my dress!