STONE WALLED

so i was think'n about the last time that there was some sorta major major

 catastrophic clash against the big boys the other day...(and i ain't talk'n about the stupid bowl contenders) as i was choke'n on a big *GULP* of pomegranates...marinate'n in my bowl of prosecco fer a simple breakfast...you know...just to get my day started

(keep it clean...you dirty lil kittens) 

and my mind immediately went to the summer of '69...(incidentally my fav-o-rit number as well)...and how it must'a been murder on the feet of those queens that beat the shit outta a gang of insensitive cops...with their sensible heels...in Greenwich Village...cuz they were tired of the BS...durin' the STONE WALL riots!

click yer heels to 50 years later...and unfortunately not much has changed

accept this time around...it's on a much grander scale...where ALMOST everyone is under attack...lemme explain!

so our unfortunate...mentally deranged lie'n sack of pig shit in the WH

decided 35 days ago to hold the ENTIRE country hostage...by shutt'n down the government and throw a temper tantrum cuz he hadda try and redeem himself from the shit storm he created 2 years ago...tell'n his selfish brain dead lobotomized followers (and YES...ANYONE who voted for him at this point and STILL backs his political BS...IS JUST THAT!...regardless if yer fam...friends or lazy fucks...who don't know how to come "prepared"...cuz i don't think i need to remind you...i get paid to work at my job...not punch'n into Charlie's chocolate factory)

that MEXICO WAS GOING TO PAY FOR THE WALL! (until they weren't)

hmmm...i faintly recall a wall seperate'n people fer many many years....but by the end of the 80's...that situation had been rectified

of course that mentally deranged lie'n sack of pig shit kept this up...

day after day...think'n he could get away with it...cuz all he ever hadda deal with fer the past 2 years...was his brain dead party who let him play his golf...along with other people's lives...as long as they got they pay raises and pensions stocked up...leave'n hundreds of thousands...(and essentially millions) in despair...wonder'n where their next meal was come'n from...since they were work'n without a paycheck...

until he crumbled like a corn filled silo

thanx mainly to another set of heels that never buckled to his childish antics and stopped him dead in his tracks...that finally got the government back on track...(temporarily anyways)...while the big wigs from both sides...try and come to some collusion conclusion

BUTT...

now that one of Batman's arch nemesis's has been indicted on several charges...after bein' raided by non paid G-men (at the time i might add) in the wee hours of the morn'n last week

you know that the FBI...along with most of the country at this point...are completely over all of this bullshit the current admin has been try'n get away with fer the past 2 years...especially this smug hype'n...punk'n...promote'n and bluff'n BS artist fer his mentally deranged lie'n sack of pigshit buddy...tell'n him to deny everything and admit to nothin'

if i was the bett'n type...(and i usually do if the powerball gets up there)

 i'd say 1 to 1 odds...now that our mentally deranged lie'n sack of pig shit's jack off pet is bein indicted and most likely sent to the pen...

i think the shit has finally hit the fan fer our mentally deranged man...

 baby in office and that his purely mentally deranged bullshit is only just beginn'n to get splattered everywhere before the next shut down looms on feb 15th

cuz you know...next up the chain...are his last 2 pawns that Mueller...i'm sure...has already ordered some shiny cuff links for

now get off my dress!

retouch'n my roots

i discovered a helluva lotta things over the weekend...

like fer instance...how apple spice febreeze that you stocked up on at the after xmas sale fer 79 cents a can...DOES NOT make yer quaint lil shit box smell like the fresh baked apple pie that yer granny used to bake...when yer try'na mask the smell of burnt popcorn you made...no matter how much you've sprayed...while wait'n on yer brother and his wife to visit fer the nite

that when yer fav-o-rit vegan vommit'n brother visits fer the nite...

and decides to take you out fer dinner in a glass...just as long as there's somethin' on the menu to fulfill his cruelty free conscious tasty buds...then proceeds to drop more bombs than they did at Hiroshima back at yer pleasant lil shitbbox...with the same deadly results...to yer nasal passages

BUTT the biggest find i found...was bigger than any other i've seen

fugetabod Ru Paul's regurgitated hag race

or the answer to the poor man's macaroni and cheese excrement...

cuz the BIGGEST thing i've ever come across...since chipp'n my teeth last saturday nite with some rico suave from Racine WI...

was my accidental find'ns of the irish born sing'n sensation and perform'n illusionist...the one and only...fantabulously delishcious...DANNY LA RUE

born Daniel Patrick Carol 1927...he was the youngest of 5 children...

Danny moved to London in 1937...and became an alter boy in his tender teen years...think'n he wanted to join into the priest hood later on down the road...

much like i myself...who also was an alter boy in my younger prepubescent years...when my aunt used to tell me that i should go into the priesthood when i grow up...before i decided...i needed a much bigger pulpit to perform from as thee future unintentionally internationally unknown perform'n illusionist of my own universe...

but me...like DANNY's mother...knew he needed a much bigger stage

in 1943...Danny joined the navy and has his 1st break entertain'n... 

 the troops...that is until finally...in 1954...Danny started perform'n on stage...in the spotlight...fer the masses on their asses in London's famous West End

once the 1960's rolled around...DANNY was consume'n the spotlight...

the houses were packed nite after glorious nite...with no room to breath...

with the likes of Barbara Streistand and Judy Garland as many of his fasmous celeb fans

one of his most famous fans that he became chummy with was actual

royalty...who he even had the pleasure of fry'n up a back hand sammich for on one particular nite when a tuned up Princess Margaret slapped DANNY across the face...durin' the 60's at one of her parties...all cuz DANNY told her to lay off the liquor...days later she would be bow'n to his heels fer forgivness

by 1972 DANNY LA RUE starred as the lead'n lady in his only 

big screen comedic debut...set durin' WW 2

once the hedonistic decade of heroin and hairspray rolled around...

 in the 80's...DANNY was the 1st male to ever play the lead role as Dolly Levi  in "HELLO DOLLY"

travel'n the world with many successful tours...

bein' the perfectionist that he was...DANNY was forced to perform...

 past his prime..thanx in part...by 2 canuks that conned him in 1983...

after the sale of Walton Hall hotel he had purchased many years earlier

after suffer'n a mild stroke in 2006...DANNY LA RUE had unfortunately

met his maker by 2009 due to throat cancer complications at the ripe old age of 81

though gone...thanx to the inter webbage...& my globally dominated blog

DANNY LA RUE will never be forgotten!

click here fer an absolutely fabooshka look inside the life of a real trail blazer in heels...waaaay ahead of the times

 now get off my dress!

2 fans in Afghanistan

who knew my whimsical words of washed out wisdom would touch sooo many kittens from every nook and cranny across this gigantic globe

from the Big Apple to the Minne-Apple...

from Cincinnati to Seattle...

just come'n up with weekly headlines was just half the battle

from a town they call Turkey...to the monks in Nepal

from the Maple Leaf lanes up north...to the southern vineyards of France

touch'n so many of my kittens...was just by mere chance

from the majestic British Monarch...to the bloody Irish Republic...

from far away New Zealand...to the Land Down Under...

who in the world knew that i'd become such a worldly wonder

from Russia with Love...to the Syrian nation

from the Amazon jungles...to the mountains of Peru

i'm so elated to have touched someone like you

from Juan Valdez...to the Chilean sights

from the Pinata parties...to the African horn

some of my far away fans have even done porn

from the sweats shops in India...to the sand dubnes of the Arabian Dessert

from the Pyramids of Egypt...to the Great Walls of China

my fans are my friends...well...sorta friends...kinda

but the biggest surprise of all you see

are my 2 biggest fans in Afghanistan...who take time to read me!

i've never had the pleasure...but read about you in the news

i hope my words have touched you somehow...and helped wash away yer blues

i wonder if yer hungry...or just part of the war

were you on duty?...or was i just a bore?

are you part of the Taliban?...or were you just on vacation?

but i guess either way...i'm happy to help in some way from yer war torn nation

and though the miles may tear us...from far...far apart

i want you to know...you mean the most to some of my heart

so 3 cheers to you...and all of the rest

it's time to bid auf wiedersehen...now get off my dress!