we asked 100 people...

(99 of them live under my skull)

if they could have anyone play you in a movie...who would it be?

X...fictional characters don't exisit...therefore cannot play me

X....even though i consider him to be the hottest man alive
(plus... who doesn't love a bad boy with an irish accent)

stay tuned to find out at the end...

so my think’n cap is at the cleaners this week…and my brain is on strike…my body was in oprahville this past weekend...so very very sorry i'm a day late post'n but on top of ALL that...it’s my 11th anniversary to my 30th b-day today…so it’s mashed potato time

well...anyone that knows anything about me…

(my "matty ya lil fatty" period my uncle Ed used to say durin' 2nd grade)

knows BOY GEORGE

and MADONNA

are my link to life since i was a teenage terror at the tender and supple age of 13

green…number 3…and fruit round out rest of the typical ?’s

so time to dive into the deep end…

1)what was the first job you wanted when you grew up?

hey don’t rush things…gimme about 5 more years and i’ll start gett’n serious…anyways…

this was my actual first job i thought that i totally wanted to be when i was able to get a pay check...i was about 13ish…and at my cuz’s house across the yard and seen my first porn movie…i thought…hey i could lay there and have someone wiggle all around me (of course i wanted another guy in the flick with me…i couldn’t really grasp the concept why my cuz and his roomies would want to watch man on woman porn…seemed so unnatural to me…but hey…each to there own) plus…i was good at moan’n and groan’n as a child…i just needed to bump it up a bit

2)what talent do you wish you had?

the ability to make socially retarded people interest’n…

this would include those who think they are from a higher untouchable species...

parents with uncontrollable kids

hey i'm sorry...but they belong here if they can't behave...besides...they look happy and it's better than make'n 'em a back hand sammich to eat...right?

militant republicans…

bible thump’n inbreds

are all usually found in this category

but so are pretty much most dates i’ve been on in the past year (any past date read’n this and feel’n a bit offended by this statement…go ahead and include yerself in this category...trust me...yer worth it!)

3)what’s the last book you read?

“cry salty tears” by Dinah O’dowd…

ok...i'm gett'n paid no promotional fees fer this...but it's a really good tearjerker of a book...i made it all the way to the end without need'n to fast forward to the visuals or have anything pop out on every other page

it’s the story of an irish mother’s survival and eventual triumph over almost unbelievable domestic hardship and prolonged metal torture and destructive ignorance…yet successfully raised a family of 6 and nurtured the unique personality of a world superstar

i could totally see Shirley MacLaine act'n the shit outta this part

4)what’s yer worst habit?

think’n i have #2…

i’ve tried it but i always ended up feel’n like they have no reason to live in my universe

5)in one word…how would you describe yerself?

(in my world FREAK equals creative…stands out…one of a kind...so it's not really a bad thing)

6)what’s yer biggest pet peeve?

(militant republicans and religious people can sit out on this one... since they have no power over me)

it’s mainly geerocks and their inability to be nice to anyone…

(also known as phonies...fakers...uppity A double snake holes)

it's as if this breed were born without a conscious...whether yer a friend...family member...co-worker...phone personality...receptionist...a skyway walker or the sad cashier at the neighboorhood blockbuster

just BE NICE!

(and yes i am aware i am a work in progress myself at times...but in my defense...it's usually always warranted when i'm not)

but the worst are these people that are co-op crunchers…scarf’n down on overpriced organic…free range...gluten-free snacks...whipp'n around town in their spendy hybrid cars...recycle'n their political correctness along with their glass bottles and cans...environment friendly e-book next to their work-out bottle...yet they don't even practice common manners to others that don’t “fit” into their cookie cutter world…how can you whine about want'n a safer world if you can't even manage to be NICE to everyone around you?

where's that bucket of water when ya need it...

7)what’s yer top 3 movies you can pretty much recite the entire dialogue by heart?

"SHORTBUS”

(best line: "these bitches sucking cock and eating ass...then they show up at the buffet and say they're vegan"

”MURIEL'S WEDDING”

(best line: "you're terrible Muriel")


"SORDID LIVES"

(best line: "Leticia Bustamonte...that sweet little mexican girl who stocks
the shelves...told me Jim-Ed had to reinforce that stool with luhgnuhts"

8)who is the one famous person you would bring back to life?

hmmm…well since jesus is just a figment of some sand person’s imagination…i’m gonna go with Marilyn Monroe…

just to see how she would fair in this time of nip-n-tucks…if she'd ring Madonna's neck and what she really knew about the Kennedy’s and the mafia

9)what “SEX and the CITY” gal are you at the moment?

though i’ve been all of them at one time or another…

MIRANDA HOBBS best describes me these days…

i think things thru a lot more carefully these days…have no time to put up with shit from anyone…and have no need to see “sky rockets in flight” with anyone’s help

(subject to change at any moment though)

10)what are the 3 top tv series the best describe you?

"STRANGERS with CANDY"

"the YOUNG ONES"

SEX and the CITY

11)what do you want this time by next year?

new city…

new job…

new me

bonus round: who do you think you'll resemble in 20 years?

hands down...if i'm lucky to still be here...i wanna be the care free...
nail paint'n land lady Mrs. Roper

just slap on a wig from the Eva Gabor collection...a moomoo and some tacky jewelery and call it a day!

oh ya...suuuurvey says?

John Cameron Mitchell...in HEDWIG...so very very ME!

now get off my dress