a GROWING PAIN in the ass

picture it....the year

1 gallon of petro cost $1.09 

the compact disk was born...kill'n the cassette

an American-French expedition finds the ship that made that French-Canadian song go on and on and ON...12 years later 

Madonna was "CRAZY FOR YOU"

and Tina Turner didn't need another hero at the box office

a bunch of these artists were sing'n fer Africa's supper

while Meryl Streep and Robert Redford were try'n to get "Out of Africa"

the F.D.A gave the A O.K fer the 1st A.I.D.S test'n

and tv's Mike Seavers...was a teen's shower masturbatory heartthrob...

at least once a week

growing up with GROWING PAINS was one thing...

but turn'n into a GROWING PAIN in the ass...totally different

let me explain!

so a while back...Kirk Cameron (who incidentally...was born only 45 days after me in the same year...not that that has anything to do with this story...just a  lil worthless piece of information for you to hold onto)

went from a non believe'n teenage heart throb... to a not so hot any more born again A double snake hole and wanted the show...he was the star of at the time...to reflect his beliefs mentalness...and that the story lines need not have anything "racy" or "adult" in them...which i believe was the down fall of an already annoy'nly crappy saccrinated show to begin with anyways

we only tuned in weekly to see him flash his pearly whites and his tight ass showcased in the latest painted on acid wash girbaud's...that we would so have given our left nut for a pair

well...now mr. come-all-ye-faithful-pea-podders Cameron

is now the new spokesmodel  for N.O.M...and we never even get to see him compete in a bath'n suit competition...damn it all to H-E-double hockey sticks!

short fer...Need Other Mythologically-based-moron-thinkers

 run by this non cock-suck'n cock sucker Brian Brown

now i know certain kittens out there read'n this...think i'm bein' a meanie and unsympathetic to an already self proclaimed unsympathetic preacher of discrimination...but i am not try'n to give you some home lobotomy speech

though i have no problem with Kirk voice'n his opinion about what he thinks...he has his platform and i have MINE!

that's why i've always said we all need somethin' to believe in...so...

                       "keep yer heels high and yer expectations low"

the problem i have with Kirk and N.O.M and certain selected political figures and non anal-anal retentive home lobotomized religious zealots...is that they think society and civilization in general  is held together by family between a man and a woman...just cuz some delusional entity said so in some alleged journal that they choose to decipher what they deemed the definitive "word of G*D" and how society must flourish by

try'n to "define" a commitment ceremony from some mythological fairy tale that holds almost zero credibility water with today's standard of live'n...or written in some reference book...is just so laughable...when basically in the last 50 years...at least almost 50% of marriages have come to be "defined" as a lotto fer now...instead of love ferever since the divorce rate in america alone is spiral'n into a kamikaze fashion

and putt'n a religious crusade behind the definition is absurd...say'n a traditional family consist'n of both mother and father is the core that keeps a family together...HA!

there's more tradition that holds fruitcake together...and who in the hell wants to eat that all year?

so what they're say'n basically is...anyone that IS NOT of this "formula"...is not of HIS flock!

flock that!

thankfully and fortunately...Kirk's...along with N.O.M's and certain political figures...and we musent ferget about the non anal-anal retentive home lobotomized religious zealots way of think'n is become'n more and more

                        like the Guadeloupe burrowing owl...EXTINCT!

and thanx to its leader...even Brian Brown himself...who once was just as outspoken about keep'n marriage exclusive to man/woman love...changed his mind to show even he has thought about his exclusive club membership

(ps...this IS NOT photochopped...this is his club's actual ad campaign)

now maybe someone should have informed Mr. Brown the significance of the mean'n "MO" (presumably his definition of "Mo" meant to be the newest hip textable version fer momentum)...perhaps!

or maybe Mr. Brown was just finally come'n to terms with himself

we'll never know...so with that...i leave you with this kittens

today's television heart throbs...may someday try and rob you of yer heart...so think twice before being taken in by some cheeky grin or tight ass...and puhleez...get off my dress!