get off my dress: double trouble

there are many powers possessed by have'n a true to life doppelganger...

comes in handy when yer market'n fresher breath...while secretly promote'n chemically enhanced tooth decay...

want'n to freak the fuck outta an ax weild'n homicidal maniacs family...

turn'n yerself into a bucket of water...or the form of a hysterectomy pad...

ALMOST become'n every non heterosexuals wet dream fantasy...

or actually become'n ALMOST every non heterosexuals fantasy

i've even wondered what it'd be like to have another carbon copy of my...

unintentionally internationally unknown perform'n illusionist of my own universe self...it sure would help when i wanted to take a break from bein' mercilessly stalked by my fan...but then i realized...no one can steal my dimly lit spotlight...even if it is just another me...there's only room fer ONE OF US...and i'd end up just scratch'n her eyes out in the end anyways

unfortunately...sometimes see'n double...just leads to moronic trouble

case in point...these 2 CASPER crusade'n cankersours...the Benham brothers

so these allegedly non pole puff'n...worshipers of ~~the bible~~ that color'n book...tried desperately to whore themselves out fer yet another house flipp'n reality show on HGTV...puhleez...we need that as much as...

we need another season of "~~the 700 club~~ "

"this ol' bat shit crazy crypt keeper in da house"

but HGTV wasn't gonna pander to their paganistic propaganda

so here's a lil back story of these 2 allegedly non cock-suck'n crusaders...

brother David believes that "non heterosexual marriage" would cause every build'n constructed since 2012 to topple if we try to redefine "marriage"...which will cause moral destruction of our society...

but reality game shows corrall'n ~~members of the opposite sex~~ (ewww...that's so...you know...just ewww) i mean...desperate fame riddled whores who never got enough hugs grow'n up by their parents...in hopes they'll marry someone within 10 episodes fer a rate'ns bonanza...is perfectly acceptable and exactly how their ~~creator~~ delusional entity intended it to be

and of course Jason...(who might have a slight edge in the hot factor)

proved how religious persecution is at a all time high...when he likened the ~~christians~~ CASPER crusade'n cankersaurus's...to that of the kilt wear'n klansmen in the movie "Braveheart"...

only thing is...compare'n yer faith to an antisemitic drunk is probably not the wisest choice to make yer case...fyi

but it gets even better...when durin' that very same speech...

he says that the non heterosexuals and their "agenda" are like nazi bullets..."there are cultural bullets fly'n all over today...especially religious liberty and what's happen'n right now is many spiritual leaders...they are runn'n from bullets...but there's a remnant of people that are ready to stand and say... i'm not runn'n from those bullets any more!"

hmmm...so who's "agenda" is really kill'n who's boys?

especially when you have one of yer cracked out crusaders try'na pass a political hot potato as a sign of peace

not to be outdone by his brother...David compares today's Casper crusader

to those that have been beheaded by ISIS
"the weapon of choice for the agenda in the middle east is a sword,,,but the weapon of choice for the agenda in america is silence...ISIS is filled with rage...they are empowered by a demonic blood thirsty spirit that needs to be confronted and dealt with...not tiptoed around the tulips...the plot to silence the beliefs of christians in this nation...thank god it's not thru a sword...it's just in the form of silence!"

thing is David...sometimes ya gotta stop and smell the tulips...before ya go open'n yer 2 lips...dont'cha think? don't answer that...just think about it!

of course no is to blame fer this immorally lustful meringue pie more than...

Lucifer himself...who's the obvious choice as the mastermind behind all those devilishly delicious acts of fornicational faggotry...cry'n "satan is a big phony...he's a counterfeit...he's always gonna attack sex because sex is the goal of life...it's life in your marriage...it's physical life with children...it's offspring...and the devil is make'n war against the offspring of the woman...which means that the devil hates life...jesus came to bring life...the devil says...i come to destroy it!"

hmmm..."physical life with children"...i don't mean to over analyze things here mister....but yer start'n to sound like yer 1 lollipop away from the pedophile parade...time to pull back the religious rhetoric kitten!