under the rainbow

with all the hubbub about the impend'n decision in regards to...

the SUPREME COURT recognize'n non heterosexual unification thru-out the land in a few short weeks...in order to milk the system of tax and health bennies like the rest of the population has been doin fer years...i thought it was time to play a lil game...since essentially that's what marriage really is

so i decided to pull out my ouija board and try to get in contact with a popular game show host from my pre-teen pansy past...and i was lucky enough to contact the original canker sore collector...

Richard Dawson...but cuz of copyright infringements and a ban from Mark Goodson to ever host any game show with his name attached to it...even from beyond the grave...i hadda make a couple of adjustments...so now it's time to play..

hands on yer buzzer...top 5 answers on the board...

we surveyed 100 people...

name an absolutely insane reason why 2 consent'n anal astronauts or home depot card carry'n lezbitronics should not be able to tie the not...

Richard...i'm gonna go with  DROUGHT...cuz california is have'n a terrible time these past 4 years with their agriculture...and global warm'n has nothin' to do with that...i know it's cuz our delusional almighty CASPER is pissed at the rampant runn'n around all those people with easy virtue have been doin fer centuries

can i see DROUGHT?

yer on the board...do you wanna play or pass?

Richard...i'm gonna play cuz we're a CASPER fear'n family...and we know he would want us to win

ok i see yer name is Richard too...huh...well how 'bout we just call ya Dick so there's no confusion...that ok with you Dick?...name an absolutely insane reason why 2 consent'n anal astronauts or home depot card carry'n lezbitronics should not be able to tie the not...got 1 of the 4 answers left?

Richard...i'm gonna go with THERAPY...cuz i was born in the great state of Texas...were cheaters always win...and winners always cheat...and the fact is...that those tulip sniffers need as much therapy as we can provide them to put them on the righteous track...even if it's been prove'n not to do a damn thing and cause more harm than help'n em...but hey...sounds like a good plan to me!

gimme some THERAPY...

good answer...you know that surprises me...but move'n on

Gertrude...i'm guess'n you applied yer poly grip this morn'n didn't you my love...can i getta kiss? there's 2 answers on the board...in order to stay in the game...gimme 1 of the 3 answers left up there on the board sweetness

Richard...i'm gonna go with WEBSITE...cuz after a long day of yahtzee tournaments at Our Lady of Rapturous Debauchery in Shreveport Louisiana where i was the state champion with my tic tac pie 3 years in a row...i like to kick back with a couple bottles of bottom of the barrel pinot grigio...knit afghans fer them Armenians...and surf the informational highway to my fav-o-rit site fer the latest word of the almighty...but those sneaky sodomites stole it out from under us...redirect'n me to some devil's playground of fornicational filth last weekend...so i been recite'n hail mary's with my bloody mary's on sunday til the situation is corrected

let me see WEBSITE...

well...to be fair Gertrude...if the owners of that site weren't spread their secretaries thighs...while spread'n their vicious lies around the internet...they wouldn't be in this mess to begin with...now would they?

how's my beautiful Norma doin? you know Norma...has anyone ever told you if you put a simple little L at the end of yer name...you might actually make sense?...just a thought...ok Norma...you gotta answer fer me love? by the way....i love that enchant'n smell yer wear'n...what do you call it?

hi Richard...i'm sooo glad to be here...thank you fer notice'n...yer smell'n my Ben-Gay...i rub it on my shoulders to fight my rheumatism...but as CASPER is my witness...i've never been gay...that's just a lil joke i like to say when people notice my smell...ok Richard...i'm gonna go with they shouldn't be allowed to marry cuz of that horrible TRAIN CRASH last week...i heard it on that news channel that bends the truth so they can get brain dead people like me to believe it...but i actually had a premonition of the same thing...it was scary...i think i could be an actual journalist on that program or somethin'...dont'cha think?

if it's there...yer still in the game...can i get a TRAIN CRASH?

luckily only 3 others mental cases believed you...just barely made it by those stubborn hairs on yer chiny chin chin

hello Richard...i just wanna give a shout out to all my local parishioners in Macon Georgia...my gingivitis is finally under control...i'd be as pickled as a peach on sunday if i could get a kiss from the late great Mr. Dawson...can ya hold onto my teeth while i pucker up?...and make it a good'n Richard...

ok Henrietta...i need an answer love...my hemorrhoids are really act'n up...

well Richard...i think i know the #1 answer...

is it cuz they worship that lil harlot that's hitt'n the road this year?

sorry my love...but that is a strike...gimme another answer and make it a good one this time..

ok...can i get one more kiss of death fer good luck Richard?...thanks...ok how about CAKE? cuz ya know...my fav-o-rit pill popp'n radio preacher...who's cherished the sanctity of marriage 4 times in the house of the Lord...was just say'n the other day on his program...that those meanie muslims are to blame fer hatred towards those flame'n fruit cakers...not us ignorantly righteous right wing-nuts with no sense of sensitivities to anyone but our own agendas...plus...i'm almost positive it says in the bible somewhere that those who shall believe in me shall not mix their poly blends or their ingredients fer those deviant throat plungers or carpet cleaners

if it's there...you'll win the game dear...let'em eat CAKE?

CONGRATULATIONS...yer family may have won the game...but you've also proved to yerself and those who follow in yer idiocy...you have ALOT to learn...anyone that believes that the definition of marriage dates back to biblical time and was meant to join a man and woman...HA!
let the schooling begin...

marriage originally originated as an agreement between 2 MEN and was specific to a business partnership...THAT'S RIGHT...2 MEN...it evolved to include more than business as is the case when supposedly Saint Serge married Saint Bacchus during a wedding ceremony witnessed by Jesus Christ. (that is if you wanna go that comic book route)

applying the modern day metric that 10% of the population is non heterosexual and bein' there were far less people on our planet back then...it was even more uncommon to see same gender couples....that people would come to forget the origin of marriage...emerge'n was a disdain for all things different from oneself or one's family...marriage eventually became limited to an arrangement decided by parents between first cousins...male and female and ultimately between non-related male and female

in short...it isn't gays and lesbians who perverted the tradition of marriage...it was the non homosexuals...first with their practice of incest and then with insecure short sighted views of this world and an inability to embrace...to learn from...and to evolve cuz of the magnificent differences in CASPER's "alleged" design of each person....but arranged hetero incest coupling?...seriously?...that's just FUCKED UP!

well...that's it fer this special episode of "FUCKED UP FEUD"....

now get off my dress!