Whale'n & Palin

so it's that time of the year to finally get started on that challenge...

that you been shrugg'n off all month...that'll change yer life fer the long haul...and i ain't talk'n about build'n yer body into some mouth water temple fer pure artistically animal intentions

or try'na find the perfect pair of suspenders to keep yer plump A double snakes from scrape'n on the sidewalk

no...i'm talk'n about somethin' that's much more spectacular than...

the root'n toot'n west 

i sooo wish i was talk'n about another puppet and her master...but just like Wayland Flowers & Madam...these 2 baboons career i'm talk'n about will end up dead in the water by the time this whole political fiasco is over

i'm talk'n about an easily effective way of turn'n yer cranial contents into a bowl of mindless bobble headed mashed potato soup...

with this year's most hilarious comedy series of the season and winner of the coveted kankersoredashian award

yes kittens...just when you thought Miss P was nothin' but...

an annoy'n stain in yer cerebral cortex that you desperately tried to drown out with a case of bud lite...she rose up from the ashes of her failed reality show...like a brilliant phoenix from the flames of stupidity...in the great cornhole'n state of Iowa and decided to stump fer TRUMP this past week fer another attempt at make a go of it!

after of course blame'n the current prez fer her sons PTSD bash'n...

so to deflect any inaccuracy she may have completely over stated...just a wee bit...this precious poodle even decided to help that cheese doodle colored mop out by dropp'n her latest remix jam that's sure to be a hit single at any GOP how down

now everyone outta be treated and take'n seriously and fairly when yer...

runn'n off at the mouth like a fucktard with a fouth mouth runn'n fer the WHITE HOUSE...well...unless of course they're runn'n away from some harlot with a hemmoroidal issue an earthling with beauty and brains...occupy'n the northern hemisphere of her fantastic figure follow'n!

so DUMP TRUCK decided to skip the debates in Iowa last week...

cuz i don't know...he might'a been asked what are the actual issues he'll be campaign'n on to improve the country and relations with other countries around the world what if Ivanka and him were legal emancipated...would Melania be into a 3 way?

instead...he decided to do the next best thing that no one has ever done...

by goin rogue and held a rally to help out out those who've served this country with all their might to help fund his fail'n casino's and clothin' lines

not only does the DUMPSTER wanna help out the Vets with the benjamins raised...but also has plans to give the homo's a hand in marriage

thankfully...the genius known as Steven Colbert...finally got an early 

xmas gift last week...when the DUMPSTER decided to remove himself from the diabolical clutches of one Miss Kelly @ Faux News...and to rationally and calmly do a one on one with the only masterdebater he can relate to...

(and quite frankly...the only one he cares about deeply)...the other nite to show the root'n-toot'n trumpeters canker sores of the country...just exactly where he stands on important issues that everyone is so so very desperately wait'n fer with halitosis and their holy bible color'n book...at the Drake University in Iowa while the other clowns were duke'n it out at THAT OTHER unimportant debate clown show that no one was watch'n

the BIG D will find out who exactly is still gonna be board'n his train tonite

well there ya have it kittens...now i know after all these hard hitt'n...

journalistic jives...you may think i've already made up my mind as to what party deserves the win the keys to the castle...

BUTT...(ooooh kaaaay!)

i hope i haven't alienated any of my GOP juggernauts...that sometimes ferget to take the dishes outta the sink before they pee in it...that survive deeply on every word i breath each week...but will hopefully come to yer own unconscious conclusion as to who you think is best to move into the 

BIG HOUSE come this novem...

i hope most out there realize by now...this freeze dried fouled mouth fool...

is waaay beyond his expiration date at this point...

but this is 'murica...and everyone should have their due process...
i'm not here just to impress...

i also want ya to get off my dress!