pocket change i had left in my pleated culottes...3 months back...from the movie i went to the other nite with my "extracurricular activities" friend...and the very attractive...toothless slug behind the counter ring'n me up...who was stripp'n me down with his barely there morals...but i didn't mind...i'da done the same i suppose...if i wasn't me already...(hey i ain't conceited...i'm just convinced)
where was i?...oh yea...so anyways...he would run my last minute lotto...
ticket i purchased...after this BIG GULP that i hadda do from this insatiably mezmerize'n tooth chipper that had just passed in front of my on-cumm'n traffic...only to go ape shit and loose his marbles tell'n me i hit the BIG ONE....S-E-R-I-O-U-S-L-Y?...
DOH!...eh...fuck it...ya can't win if ya don't play...right?
anyways...truth be told...i had just found out i finally got the BIG C
oh kittens...oh no...i don't mean the good kind...well not this time at least...no...
but unfortunately...i would have no Jerrod behind me buzz'n his locks...and hadda go it alone
i went thru every scenario and thought of every outcome i could...
that anybody in my situation would after find'n a lump...where a lump does not belong...after find'n out it has completely nutt'n to do with blue balls
well...i refused to pick out a formal gown fer some sorta pity parade fer my "situation"...it would be 3 months til i could get a check-up since the doc was back'd up...but i decided i hadda tell a small circle of 3 of my "situation" so it wouldn't fester in or on my mind...on a daily basis fer the next 3 months...
i knew hadda find a distraction to occupy my kaleidoscopic mind...
that was runn'n thru that marathon of emotions...as most do at a time like this...thankfully i found out my all time FAV-O-RIT BOY was come'n back to town...
BUTT
it would be 3 months i would have to also wait fer his return to town...
so i focused all my energy fer the next 3 months...consumed by all the politicks of the delusionally desperate deplorables who were defend'n that hot headed...oompa loompa'd...dasturdly despicable...tangerine/cheeto'd Jesus slug...which unfortunately also included some of my family and friends...
in the off chance i would get "THAT CALL" that would end it all...i went thru my mountain of dvd's...cd's...hair and heels...decide'n who would get the biggest kick outta my earthly eBay possessions...
(well...don't you wish yer name was Peetrinella about now)
the day had F-I-N-A-L-L-Y come...and so did i...almost...when i seen my gynecologist doctor...he put my mind at ease...as i slipped into the appropriate hospital negligee...
he put on a Shelly Fabre record (hey...i'm tell'n the story here) and as i looked around the sterile room fer any sorta hope...i just happened to catch my doctor's name...i am kidd'n you not...
DR. fuck'n BUTCHER...
GREAT!...i'm dance'n at the edge of a mental cliff and i'm gett'n examined by Dr. Freddy fuck'n Krueger...of course this set my mind at complete easy when he said i had nothin' to worry about...NOT!...but after a quick game of 20 questions...it was all over...well except i would have to wait one more week for my results...though...i will say...if yer gonna get the BIG C check-up...it's so much easier when yer doctor is a total GRRRRANIMAL!
luckily a week later...i got an email say'n the lump was benign...so i'm outta the clear fer now...but to come back if things should happen to change
then i FINALLY woke up!...HUH!...was this ALL just a scary dream?
NOPE...THANKFULLY IT WAS NOT!
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