come together in every nation!

this year marks the 30th anniversary when me & my unfortunately old bff

worshiped at the alter of the QUEEN in St Paul, MN 

fer the very first time...

and ever since...i've been absofuckinglutely addicted!

well it's been almost 2 damn long years since i had the opportunity to marinate in all her glorious essence live...after host'n thee OFFICIAL REBEL HEART tour party in the Minne-Apple (my 2nd time around i might add)...my genius video friend Tony even made a kick-ass commercial fer my gig (though the bar management was a royal pain in my A double snakes to work with...it was a H-U-G-E success...but i guess i digress) 

and now...F-I-N-A-L-L-Y...she is set to release her global domination onto the nation once again from her amazingly spectacular sold out "REBEL HEART TOUR" on her 59th birthday this wednesday august 16th...order yer copy today

those who got to witness the QUEEN stake claim to her crown with DICK

on AMERICAN BANDSTAND back in 1984...felt her confidence when she declared she wanted to "rule the world"...and she has ever since then as far as the music world is concerned...

for someone who's been beat up by critics and crazy ass fans fer more than 30 years in the biz...she's persevered and prevailed and has never had to abdicate her crown...break'n her back and shatter'n the ceil'n as far as live entertainment has never seen the likes of before...so i thought i'd go back thru her illustrious career of live performances...(and what was available on youtube.com and gif form to tell my story) so without further ado...i give you my top 13 ALL TIME FAV live moments from the QUEEN OF THE DANCE FLOOR...let's begin shall we?

#13...though she looked more like a rejected 80's mall rat from Sheboygan Wi...M has always remembered where she came from and has always give'n up her time to causes close to her heart by perform'n fer the biggest audience fer the biggest cause at the time at LIVE AID to help fight famine in Africa with "HOLIDAY"

#12...after Pete Burns decided to have a garage sale to get rid of his "YOU SPIN ME AROUND" eye patch he no longer needed to wear...M snapped it up fer a crisp cool $100 benjamin and went all Breakfast at Tiffany's meets Alice in Wunderland back in 1993 durin' her "GIRLIE SHOW" with her soft core porn sizzler "JUSTIFY MY LOVE"

#11...the 1st of 3 collaborations to make my list...was when M generously decided to share her spotlight with a bunch of artistic apes in the 1st ever live animation performance at the GRAMMY awards back in 2011...mash'n up her smash hit HUNG UP with the GORILLAZ

#10...though they never toured together as rock royalty...(cuz PRINCE said in the 90's that the world wasn't ready for that just yet)...PRINCE did duet with M on "LOVE SONG" from her brilliant emotionally infused "LIKE A PRAYER" album...so it was only fitt'n that the QUEEN would pay an emotional tribute to a PRINCE gone much to soon with a mash-up of his songs "NOTHING COMPARES 2U" & "PURPLE RAIN"...with a lil help from STEVIE WONDER 

#9...written fer her x hubby SEAN PENN"s movie "AT CLOSE RANGE" back in 1986...M was never one to shy away from controversy but marinate in it and that she did when she performed "LIVE TO TELL" durin' her 2006 CONFESSIONS TOUR...it was thee most controversialy & perfectly poignant performance of M's career

#8...written by icelandic kaleidoscopic butterfly BJORK...M's performance of "BEDTIME STORIES" at the 1995 BRIT AWARDS gave me the chills with her Donetella Versace like ice queen locks dance'n against the dry ice and fan while bein molested by match'n mute twin blonde bombshells

#7...from the 1991 OSCAR awards...when M was ooze'n in Miss Monroe'ness...belt'n out her tribute to DICK with "SOONER OR LATER" and taught you how to correctly get on with the show...regardless if yer $10,000 Harry Winston earring gets stuck to yer aqua-netted golden locks or not

#6...one of M's most grittiest and rawest performances from her early days on the VIRGIN TOUR...declare'n she will "take you by surprise" with the beat of the electronic cow bell...her dirty blonde locks flipp'n and dripp'n in sweat...much like a priest on a playground...as she shook her money maker like nobody's bizness with "GAMBLER"...lett'n the audience know right up front "yer just jealous cuz ya can't be me" (and trust me...we ALL do want to be)

#5...after contact'n M's merch peeps when M finally decided to return to the land of 10, 000 lakes 9,999 bottoms (it's soo hard to be me) after a 25 year absence in 2015...i became thee OFFICIAL tour party hostess in St. Paul MN durin' her MDNA stop...and trust me...like M...i was a "GIRL GONE WILD"...and take'n a page right outta M's philosophy...we raised alot of benjamins fer the MATTHEW SHEPPARD FOUNDATION that year

#4...the world got to witness M perform "LIKE A VIRGIN" fer the very 1st time at the very 1st Mtv awards back in 1984...and since then...this classic has gone thru more transformations and reworks than the late Joan Rivers mug...but the one version of being "touched for the very first time" almost got her arrested in Toronto 27 years ago durin' her BLONDE AMBITION tour fer play'n with her kitty on stage

#3...M's 1990 Mtv "VOGUE" performance as 18th century harlets in heat...bring'n a whole new mean'n to fann'n the flames...put the bar so high...that every performer ever since has tried to imitate her...but they just can't duplicate her success

#2...every performer goes thru mishaps and malfucktions durin' performances at some point in their career...but when it happens on live tv like it did back 2015 on the BRIT AWARDS fer M...it was the shock wave that was felt thru-out the music world...but just like M's live snafu with a suicidal earring 25 years earlier...M bein' the very consummate perfectionist that she has always been...was triumphantly unapologetic and carried on with the show...M made the appropriate changes when she was "LIVING FOR LOVE" at the 2015 GRAMMY AWARDS with her back breaking performance

#1...love to hate her or hate that you love her so much...MADONNA proved she truly is the undeniable QUEEN OF THE DANCE FLOOR when she brilliantly executed her powerhouse performance that football fans had never before seen the likes of in the history of halftime shows...durin' the 2012 SUPERBOWL...with the perfect blend of new and classics hits by the hitmaker...along with a few of her famous followers back'n up the QUEEN...to make it the highest rated show ever in the history of halftimes at the time

so there ya have it kittens...a "CELEBRATION" of my fav-o-rit live performances by the QUEEN...(i'm sure you all have yer own) give it up fer thee absofuckinglutely ultimately awesomeist LIVIN' LEGEND...HAPPY 59th MADONNA...many more...now get off my dress!