tis the season
it's that time of year
blessed are the homely
the hags...this silly queer!
icicles are sparkling
peppermint fills the air
a stripper goes home
with some big jolly stare
snowflakes begin dance'n
from under nite skies of blue
an internationally unknown ferry
with a package full of goo
tinsel and baubles
twinkle with delight
a fruticake in wait'n
for someone's silent nite
the tree has been trimmed
with all of my love
i've scarred all the carolers
and burnt the damn dove
roast'n the chesnuts
champayne would be splash'n
don't fret yer pretty lil ass sweetie darl'n
cuz you know i'll look absolutely smash'n
wrapped in a pashmina
unwrapped from a prezzie
a regretful regift'n
from a cheap spiteful lezzie
in come the north winds
and out blows the trash
it's hard to settle down
while gagg'n from yer gash
so pleez don't you hesitate
you would'nt want to linger
can't i make you come in
with just one finger?
as year comes to a close
creep the feel'ns of distress
i've said all i've come to say
now get the fuck off my dress!
til then kittens!
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