gooie gushie gobs of love wrapped up in a 2 hr tour...
make you feel lucky to be with the one yer with...thanx in part to flix like these
beautiful beats of heart thump'n poetry...turn'n even the hardest cynic...
into the most love struck critic...thanx to singers like these
well...i'm hear to tell ya kittens...it's all just a pile of steamy crap!
"OFF WITH THEIR HEAD!"
though this may be the week for chocolate nibbleys...long stem roses...
and cheap knock off charms shoved in a tiffany box...it ain't ALL flutter'n hearts fer everyone
love...much like the latest LADY BLAH BLAH cd and water slide...
is a complete waste of time!
so why not be a head of the game this year and save yer bejamins...
try'n to snag that "special someone"...and just settle fer somethin' special you can enjoy...like a bottle of yer fav-o-rit tekilla...torn apart tunage and terribly classic heart break'n flix to remind yerself...yer better off without them...
plus it's alot cheaper than kick'n back on some couch try'n to decipher where you went wrong
no one sung it better...than the queen of all heartaches...
Miss Loretta Lynn...with her #1 classic..."don't come home a drink'n (with love'n on yer mind)"
don't fret oatmeal generation...though ya may not know real heartache...
unless it comes in the form of a downloadable ap...i'm sure most of you broken bitches felt the slings and arrows country's saccrinated sweetheart Taylor Swift shot out with her hit "picture to burn"
country ain't yer cup of tea?...then why not try some tea and crumpets...
with this classic 80's blow torch song from Eurythmics..."you hurt me (and i hate you)"
rock out yer hatred and disgust with that fucktard...
in yer fanciest asymmetrical leotard and cool blue cat eyes to Miss Benatar's anthem "little to late"
remind yerself they were nothin' but shit on a stick...
with Kelly Clarkson's smash that asshole's heart into a thousand pieces hit "never again"
if these melodic melodies of madness still ain't gett'n that thorn in yer side...
outta yer head...perhaps somethin' on the boob tube will do the trick...like the Mistress of the Dark once said "revenge is better than christmas"
nothin' says "i love you" now get the fuck outta my life more...
than the holiday heart break'n classic "Thelma and Louise" about 2 women who've had enough of their stale mate life...set out on a adventure they'll never ferget...though the end'n scene needs to be recreated in real life...
by have'n these 2 baboons behind the wheel of that thunderbird classic...dont'cha think?
if that don't do it fer ya...try popp'n in this retold 80's heart warmer...
"MY BLOODY VALENTINE"...in 3D
cross yer heart and hope they'll die...cuz it don't get any better than give'n it to em up close and personal in a gas mask
rehabers rejoice...cuz there's even one fer the junkie lovers to understand...
starr'n the brilliant Gary Oldman as the ruined rocker Sid Vicious from the punk band "THE SEX PISTOLS" ...torn between his 2 lovers...his heroine...and his heroin...and Chloe Webb as the annoy'nly whiney narcotic push'n heroine Nancy Spungen...Courtney Love of "HOLE" fame...makes an appearance as Gretchen...one of their BIG APPLE junkie friends
fer those bruised and battered and think they don't matter...
you might gets some helpful hints how to leave the concealer and that spirit gummed mustachio behind in "SLEEPING WITH THE ENEMY"...a classic thriller about how everything that glitters is not fake swarovski crystals when a marriage goes bad...starr'n Julia Roberts as the broken wife...and though she may not have ended up a "PRETTY WOMAN" in this flick...she did a pretty bang up job...when things only go from bad to worse...and just like her orgasms...she fakes her death...when the husband asshole thinks his marriage certificate was a car title
perhaps yer look'n to prolong yer painful misery just a wee bit longer...
then i cannot suggest highly enough the AMERICAN HORROR STORY: ASYLUM series...a tale of intrigue ignited by back stabb'n and lust in the name of CASPER...where sins of the past haunt the present...and you can resent and repent without all those empty calories...plus JESSICA LANGE is to die fer..seriously!
so in the immortal words of one sassy Florence Jean Castleberry...
there ya go kittens...welcome to the bleed'n hearts club...
have a not so happy valentine's day this year and puhleez...
get off my dress!
get off my dress!
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