that "str8 act'n and appear'n" is not the new black!
by that...i don't mean that african american...african european...
african asian or african african (did i leave anybody out?) non heterosexual men are the latest in relationship accessories
hot mixed interracial relationships have been around...
since Tom and Helen Willis of the "THE JEFFERSONS"
i'm not a complete social retard...but nor will i march in the PC parade
i've seen PRINCE like 3 times live...
and own almost all of TINA TUNRER's musical history
(stay with me kittens...i will make my point...eventually)
no...what i speakith of is far more taboo...a rare hybrid sub culture of
the non heterosexuals who try and pass themselves off as "STR8"
by act'n and appear'n in a manner publicly that is perceived by others that they have the ability to completely fool members of their own naturally born non heterosexual race as well as those of the naturally born non homosexual race just to prove to their narcissistic riddled ego their inability to deal with themselves as a a throat plunge'n butt pirate
by act'n and appear'n in a manner publicly that is perceived by others that they have the ability to completely fool members of their own naturally born non heterosexual race as well as those of the naturally born non homosexual race just to prove to their narcissistic riddled ego their inability to deal with themselves as a a throat plunge'n butt pirate
and in their feebly delusional mind...they also believe they can...get this
sexually turn a non homosexual into a non heterosexual and that THAT would then be their greatest accomplishment to their entire existence
well i'm hear to tell ya...ya ain't fool'n no one mary mary on the contrary
let's keep the "act'n" for the professionally trained....oh kaaaay laydee!
there are many theories of how this sub culture of no-no homo's derived:
too much fake bake'n with a spray tan before goin' to the beach on some tropical island vacation in the Keys...
Miller beer...
the RAM truck...
(fer overcompensational purposes due to their "shortcumm'n" i'm sure)
watch'n all 4 seasons of "PRISON BREAK" on a loop
(one word...WENTWORTH MILLER...meeeouch!)
these are just a few suggestions...there are a merried of theories out there
hold up...now before you go grabb'n yer picket signs...coon dog and hop in yer monster truck (and by that i mean yer work-out purse...pekineses and pontiac grand prix) i am not suggest'n in the slightest that some of you
non heterosexuals out there cruise'n around along the informational highway on yer daily 5 minute break on adam4adam...gaydar...grinder...mancunt...scruff...jak'd or whateva social site you choose to cruise for the latest has-been or been-had by half the population fer some dimestore dick...are not just being yerself as you would...regardless of who was/wasn't present
a quick hiccup for those right wing'n apocalyptic fear'n anti-bacterial soap'n leave-it-to-beaver thinkers who think i or anyone of my naturally born non heterosexual race would CHOOSE to live this way...ummm ya...
pick a finger!
think about it...if we didn't have hetero's...we wouldn’t have homo's...
if we didn't have homo's...we wouldn’t have poppers...
if we didn't have poppers...we wouldn't have brain damage...
and if we didn’t have brain damage...i'd be the only one read'n this right now!
now where was i?...oh yea...
no...i am merely speak'n to the trend of non heterosexuals known as...
the socially retarded...chemically dependent...emotionally unavailable...self-loath'n...narcissistically rare mo'...otherwise known as the "muscle mary"
in the simplest of terms…a "muscle mary" consists of the follow'n...
high maintenance groom'n for a minimum of an hour in front of their bathroom mirror and decide'n which undergarment looks best on them to take that "all natural" non posed posed selfie to update their profile on www.peniledenial.com...
before head'n to the gym fer another hour of check'n themselves out in the locker room mirror (and who's check'n them out) and squeeze in enough time to take that "all natural" non posed selfie to update their profile on www.poundmetilthesunormecumup.com…
then do the usual work-out routine til they break a minimal sweat from check'n themselves out on the gym floor mirror (and who was check'n them out) pop into the steam room to see what they're serve'n at the cock buffet...
then publicly pretend they have no inclination of someone's existence cuz of the other person's acceptance of who they are...what they do for a live'n or how they may choose to dress themselves and whether or not last season's Prada bag falls outta their mouth every time they open it and their comfortness level around others in public…or that there is any remote interest in said person…
BUTT of course...
secretly are the first ones to have their feet stapled to the bedroom ceil'n before you get the front door closed on any random friday nite!
we hate to be judged however let's face it...we all have played judge...jury and prostituted our dignity fer the slightest acknowledgment and/or acceptance to someone we found remotely interest'n at a glance at some point in our life
oops...may have to back-up on that one there if yer not me (and why would you be) i can sense yer confusional delay so grab a ticket and hop aboard the catch-up train and i'll take ya there in a minute or so
i am and have always been…mostly…comfortable in my natural born non heterosexual body and mind (though bein a guinea pig for those governmental drug studies back in '93 altered things...just a wee bit)
i used to be the skinny minny that would get shunned by the hideously delicious muscle mary flock corral'n around in circles at any downtown non heterosexual entertainment establishment in my temporary town i've called home fer the past 31 years
until one day i joined a gym for personal and mental growth and all of a sudden the gates flew open and i was accepted as one of the flock...at first i felt like i had made a bad judgment in judge'n the judgers then i realized when it was discovered time and time again thru word of mouth...
within the flock...that i was indeed the unintentionally internationally unknown perform’n illusionist of my own universe and durty gurl of the Minne-Apple...KRYSTAL KLEER…i would be shunned once again by the flock in public or on-line though privately via text or any on-line meat market more than a handful would prostitute themselves for my "ATTENTION"
and from time to time i would give in and disregard my dignity fer dick...however...i would just write it off as my charitable act on the month and to be fair...money was never exchanged...cocktails...cuisine and barely there conversations...yes...but never any benjamins...there by prove’n my point then block’n their A double snakes so i wouldn’t become a complete pity parade
why did i care what they thought? why does anyone care what they think? they don't! it hurts their brain too much to think…what…with their balls
take'n up so much space...so in conclusion to erase any confusion...they are not trophies but a testament to the torment we all felt as an awkward teenager on any given playground try'n to just fit in
some were a friend...but that's come to an end
they're just an illusion...filled with chaos and confusion
i'm a buff with a puff...and a hella LOTTA stuff
they're just a mess...so just GET OFF MY DRESS!
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