bar stool she took off her ring...i thought i'd get closer so i walked on over...i sat down and asked her name...when the drinks finally hit her she said "i'm no quitter but i finally quit live'n on dreams" then he went on to pathetically spew "you took a fine to leave me LUCILLE...with 4 hungry children and a crop in the field"
ummmm H-E-L-L-O...my advice would'a been to dump the bitch and scratch that itch *KNOCK KNOCK* *DING DONG* are you kidd'n me? that's what orphanages are for…drop 'em off and tell 'em it's santa's palace then sell the damn plot to some high roll'n pipe smoker with a bottomless pit of benjamins who wants to open a VFW with stripper poles and glory holes and live off the fuck'n profits (Jesus Christ on a flakey graham cracker crust...could it be any more simple pimple?)
well of course i'm speak'n of that whiney ear bleed'n drippage vommited from everyone's fav-o-rit country croon'n pimped out papa bear KENNY ROGERS with his 70's halitosis heartbreaker hit "LUCILLE"
though Kenny may have been sing'n like a song bird who lives on 4 mini
packs of cool menthol Virginia Slims a day sing'n about some gold digg'n set of meat flaps who may or may not have left some unfuckable marriage after ruin'n her figure leave'n her look'n like some worn out waterbed thanx to the 4 puke buckets she produced that was named LUCILLE...there were so much more famous LUCIILE's that were much more worthy of google'n about one lazy afternoon fer this hard hitt'n journalistic nightmare...fer instance LUCILLE LA VERNE
born in 1872...LUCILLE was a starlet of stage and screen often play'n
scold'n...obnoxiously cunn'n and sarcastically vengeful roles with 44 flicks under her brassier...however...her most memorable role to date that would seal her fate would be in 1937 when she was portray'n the vengeful stepmother and wicked old hag in the Walt Disney classic "SNOW WHITE"
as one LUCILLE was leave'n stage left...undoubtedly the most famous
LUCILLE of all LUCILLE's ever to walk the earth was enter'n stage right with her first credited role in the 1937 classic fer the colostomy crowd "CHATTERBOX" though her porcelain skin and flaxen blonde locks could not save her career as hollyweird would dub her the "QUEEN of the B's"
even loose'n out the title role as SCARLETT O'HARA to that raven haired cuntessa VIVIEN LEIGH in "GONE WITH THE WIND"
(well fiddle dee fuck'n dee)
until finally some 10 years later when she decided to ditch the fair haired look and drenched her locks into a bowl full of Clairols classic carrot and gett’n tuned up on a bottle of vitameatavegamin secure'n herself as the first lady of funny on the hit series "I LOVE LUCY" starr'n LUCILLE BALL with her cuban casanova hubby RICKY RICARDO that ran from 1951 to 1957
til she branched out on her very own with "THE LUCY SHOW" that ran from '62 to '68 that gave birth to the "HERE'S LUCY" series that ran from '68 to '74
which is finally turn'n into a major motion picture "BEING THE RICARDO'S" starr'n NICOLE KIDMAN...however...who are they kidd'n...it T-O-T-A-L-L-Y should'a went to DEBRA MESSING of "WILL AND GRACE" fame hands down...i heart NICOLE (i really really do) however...
she already fucked up one tv icon in 2005...do we REALLY wanna relive the horror again?
BUTT that ain't all!
all pushed the boundaries from the back door to the boudoir with their sexually charged lyrics and equally scantily clad images thru out their mediocre musical journey...i'm hear to tell you that they're just impotent imposters...not push'n any kinda boundaries accept maybe in the check out aisle at the piggly wiggly kittens!
roughly 60 years before the world would be forced to lower their musical
standards along with their unmentionables...the O-R-I-G-I-N-A-L badass of the blues LUCILLE BOGAN was make'n waves turn'n the tweens...queens and twinks in their minks into tawdry toe tapp'n sex crazed maniacs in the mid 1930's with raunchy recordings like...
"i got nipples on my titties as big as the end of my thumb...
i got somethin' 'tween my legs 'll make a dead man come"
brought to you by tittilate'n genius of
if that ditty ain't enough to put the giddy-up in yer hitch and make you
wanna scratch that itch...perhaps this uninhibited STD clapper of that bygone era will make you rethink dipp'n yer toes into those unchartered waters and have'n to get a gynecological exam afterwards
"TIL THE COWS COME HOME" with a sorta saucy Shakespearean quality like
"if you suck my pussy
baby i'll suck your dick
i'll do it to ya honey til i make you shit"
though don't fret my carpet clean'n pets...she even had a hit especially
penned fer you (under the pseudonym BESSIE JACKSON as not to ruin her reputation with the mens) "B.D WOMEN BLUES"
"B.D. women, you sure cain't understand
B.D. women, you sure cain't understand
they got a head like a switch engine
and they walk just like a natch'l man"
so why not research yer raunchy side with these tawdry toe tappers from the yester years and give yer neighbors a break from all that broken record rap crap of today fer a change and
GET OFF MY DRESS!
No comments:
Post a Comment