Alex DeLarge films his promo ad fer some potential hook-up video date'n service great expectations who's interest included classical music...anti socialism and pillage'n pussy at his discretion fer the sensationally sadistic film "A CLOCKWORK ORANGE"
a batshit crazy CHARLES MANSON does some demented hokey pokey tap dance after receive'n a life sentence fer the murder of SHARON TATE and her friends without fire'n a single shot or slash'n a single throat
2 quaffed feather heads and 1 follicley challenged brother known simply as the BEE GEES were burn'n up the charts with their smash syrupy break-up ballad "HOW CAN YOU MEND A BROKEN HEART"
and my 2nd brother not only steals my pampers…he also steals my spotlight
oh "THOSE WERE THE DAYS"
i can remember my steroided other half who was 18 and a half years
older than me that i dated fer 4 and a half years when i was 30 and a half (and yes that extra half always helps in the end especially when it comes to the end) HEMAN (or cock-suck'n mother-fuck'n pig-slutt'n whore as i used to affectionately call him on those bitter nites) would periodically tell me when he would be have'n a particularly roided rage day
"wait til you get to be my age lil boy" to which i always replied "who fuck'n cares about yer age except YOU you cranky cocksucker cuz when i'm yer age yer STILL gonna be 18 and a half years older than me so shut the fuck up!"
i've never had an issue with the thought of gett'n old...grow'n old or bein'
around those older than myself especially since no matter what i will always be the younger one anyways...it's just life...i myself like many others try to look the best at any age we've been give'n the chance to experience however i have absolutely zero desire to restart or reverse the age'n process since we're all just a carton of eggs with an expiration date
though some by a mate...
and some by fate!
so recently as i was rearrange'n my dignity in my dilapidated dungaree's
i received an urgent email in my in box that needed a skimm'n thru so i opened the message up to see what all the fuss was about and apparently i was bein' summoned to sail away to senile serenity and now was the time to book
listen here feline friends i'm finally at the age my X warned me all about
nonetheless i have ZERO fucks with that AT ALL nor do i have an issue with bein referred to as a senile senior especially by certain botoxed basturds who are roughly half my age that obviously can't deal with their own age since i'm over half a fuck'n century old with out a single prick to my puss but still apparently make'n the masses wonder how do i do it?
ummm my secret you may wonder? facials kittens and always spit...never swallow!
BUTT however...
in case you needed a reminder to know you are regrettably forgettable
by advertisers who don't even bother to fact check their expiration dates on their own advertisements they send out…this was mine...however...don't worry kittens fer i've already set my egg timer
and am well prepared fer endless hours of "MURDER SHE WROTE" marathons without any irony…
while bein' served lime jell-o squares 3 times a day before bein hauled off to the glue factory…however
if you plan on dangle'n an expired promo in front of my face ever again future advertisers…it had better be at least about 9 1/2 throat plunge'n inches thick at the very least!
now GET OFF MY DRESS!
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