Monday, May 29, 2023

SIMPLY THE BEST

picture it kittens...the year was 1975 and director STEVEN SPIELBERG
was take'n a bite outta the box office while scare'n the holy live'n shit out of his audiences and cement'n my #1 reason while i will never step aboard a carnival cruise to sail the mighty seas anytime soon with his 1st #1 blockbuster "JAWS"

while most of the patrons of Studio 54 tried keep'n it together by simply 
mainline'n an 8ball off the bathroom floors just to get throat fucked by a throat plunger in the stalls...CAPTAIN and TENILLE simply sang their sappy song state'n "LOVE WILL KEEP US TOGETHER"

techno nerds BILL GATES and PAUL ALLEN created the rise and fall of
non verbal communicado and the beginn'n to the eventual end of yer dads...yer grand dads and yer local corner barber shops subscriptions to all those adult entertainment magazines that came delivered discretely wrapped in that non judgemental brown paper package'n with their microsoft computer

and i began my life long love affair with the QUEEN OF ROCK N ROLL 
when i first watched the powerhouse with the pipes known simply as TINA TURNER perform'n "SHAME SHAME SHAME" with CHER on "THE CHER SHOW" with my dad

though it would be almost another 10 years before i became reacquainted 
once again with the lady and her stilettoed mile high legs when she dropped her 1st single off her 5th solo album "PRIVATE DANCER" in 1984 declare'n after all her years of abuse at the hands of her X husband "WHAT'S LOVE GOT TO DO WITH IT" which initially TINA had no desire to record...went on to be her 1st solo #1 song that won her record of the year...song of the year and best female singer of the year at the 1985 Grammy awards 
that also spawned the ball to the walls hit "BETTER BE GOOD TO ME
the steamy cover of AL GREEN's "LET'S STAY TOGETHER
the sultry "PRIVATE DANCER" and though not released as a video "STEEL CLAW" was my all time fav-o-rit unreleased single off the album 
that same year...BRYAN ADAMS hopped aboard the unstoppable TINA TURNER train and released their duet off his album "RECKLESS" called "IT"S ONLY LOVE"

by the follow'n year...TINA went from the small screen to the silver screen
play'n AUNTY ENTITY in the blockbuster "MAD MAX BEYOND THUNDERDOME" which spawned the melodramatic single "WE DON'T NEED ANOTHER HERO" and the lesser though personally my fav-o-rit powerfully explosive hit "ONE OF THE LIVING

by 1986 TINA had released "BREAK EVERY RULE" that i pretty much
hadda purchase twice since i had wore out my 1st cassette play'n it non stop in my magnavox dual cassette player with detachable speakers...release'n the snarky "TYPICAL MALE" the country rock sounds of "WHAT YOU GET IS WHAT YOU SEE" and the gritty "BACK WHERE YOU STARTED" that earned TINA another Grammy fer best female rock performance in 1987...perform'n 218 shows on 5 continents fer her "BREAK EVERY RULE TOUR" sell'n out stadiums at almost 50 years old

once the 90's rolled around...TINA would earn a whole new respect and an
entirely new audience when she was inducted into the ROCK N ROLL HALL OF FAME with her time under IKE in 1991 and then once again as one of only a handful of artists who would be inducted fer a 2nd time as a solo artist in 2021

in 1993 movie goers would witness the brilliant though often brutal life 
portrayed by the tough as nails actress ANGELA BASSET in the heart wrench'n biopic of TINA's life "WHAT'S LOVE GOT TO DO WITH IT"
which of course made me upgrade all my 3 TINA cassettes to cd with the soundtrack bein my 1st major purchase that i found at LET IT BE records on the nicollette mall in the downtown Minne-Apple area where i ended up spend'n endless hours click...click...click'n my way thru TINA's back catalogue discover'n more brilliant tunes from her... 
like the 1966 PHIL SPECTOR hit "RIVER DEEP MOUNTAIN HIGH" which was the 1st song TINA recorded without her X...
 and further click...click...click'n to tunes from her time in the IKE and TINA TURNER REVUE days with the Creedence Clearwater Revival remake of  "PROUD MARY" make'n me roll'n...roll'n...roll'n down the record aisles which they released in 1971 earn'n TINA her 1st Grammy with IKE
in 1973 TINA penned the semi-autobiographical tune "NUTBUSH CITY LIMITS" that was about her hometown life in Nutbush Tennessee which would be the last hit song TINA would ever record with IKE

TINA would then jump from the microphone to the movie screen in 1975 
as the acid queen in WHO's bizarrely entertain'n rock opera "TOMMY"

by 1976 TINA had divorced IKE and went out on her own as a solo act
work'n discotheques and dinner clubs from the late 70's thru-out the early 80's with funk infused hits like "DISCO INFERNO" and "BALL OF CONFUSION" until her big break finally came in '84

before the clock struck one on the new millennium...TINA would release
her dance hit "WHEN THE HEARTAHCE IS OVER" in 1999 which would be the title track off her 10th and final solo album "TWENTY FOUR SEVEN"

i was lucky enough to snag killer seats to catch the energetic goddess live 
on her stops in the Minne-Apple back in 2000 and then once again in 2008 on her final tour and trust me...neither concert disappointed nor did they slow TINA down from the moment the lights went up til moment the curtains came down

2019 brought us the much anticipated open'n of the musical "TINA" on 
broadway and in 2020 ADRIENNE WARREN who portrayed TINA on stage would snag herself a Tony fer her brilliant performance as the lead'n lady in a musical and by 2023 i FINALLY lucked out and got to see the tour stop in the Minne-Apple in april

the same year Adrienne won her Tony...TINA...now 80...reworked the hit
that she had recorded 36 years earlier at the age of 44 where she became the oldest singer to ever release a #1 smash song...with norweigan dj KYGO fer a whole new flock of fans on the dance floor in 2020 with "WHAT'S LOVE GOT TO DO WITH IT"

with the pandemic cause'n chaos thru-out much of the planet in 2021
the only thing that occupied my mind was the heart felt last love letter given to her many die hard fans around the world as one last final look into the wonderous world of a true living legend who was born from humble beginn'ns on the cotton fields...to survive'n a torturous marriage and the many other life challenges...prove'n her resilience and resurrection to became a rock star at 44...stand'n out from the shadows of her past when most female singers in the biz were considered washed up by 30...to become the global phenomenon known as TINA TURNER with an untouchable career spann'n 6 decades spoken in her own words

though she got a good taste of the limelight under IKE's control...TINA  
had eclipsed and surpassed her abusive and control'n coke filled X by a million miles...by build'n her own indestructible path as the undeniable comeback QUEEN OF ROCK N ROLL with just 36 cents to her name...turn'n her bruises into a battle cry...her tears into triumph and break'n down all the rules of the music industries standards of what a truly colossal superstar really is...there will never be another like TINA TURNER in my lifetime...you will always be "SIMPLY THE BEST"
now  GET OFF MY DRESS!

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