in 1978 and we [the audience] were led to believe that his escape was completely successful as planned and that he lived out a fullfill'n and fruitful life until his last breath...though the real escapees never verified if they did or did not actually make it out since there was no verification from TMZ or any other news outlet since!
i myself...unfortunately...even felt the long arm of the law many moons
ago back in 2005..when i got pulled over fer goin 5 miles over the posted limit one particular even'n and subsequently was arrested fer a DUI fer bein' 1 point over the legal limit...though 6 months later i was completely exonerated by the the judge due to the fact that the cop (as hot as he was...and trust me...i begged fer a strip search...WOOF!) had lied to the courts say'n that he had give'n me a breathalyzer at the scene and not the station...(apparently though his dash cam would not corroborate his story)
but as i was bein' photographed around 2 am on that fateful nite...i was completely disheveled and discombobulated in disbelief of what had just conspired to me and DID NOT want to come off look'n like some sorta magical lezbitron hooker durin' my photo shoot...and after see'n my mugshot...UGH!!! i was completely horrified by what i saw and begged fer a reshoot...thankfully the police's Annie Lebowitz took my request into consideration since no one else was bein' booked at the moment and let me retake my epic glamour shot...
thankfully...the 2nd photo shoot worked out to my satisfaction...that once i was released and made my long walk back home early that balmy morn'n...i decided to turn my lemons into some tasty lemonade and posted my mugshot as my profile pic and literally within minutes i tell ya...i was bombarded by numerous residents of desperadoville on whatever app i was on at the time...
with offers far and wide of putt'n a ring around my rosey and one that would even set me up in the best double wide across the mid west if i'd be their personal inmate date!
i learned my lesson and paid my dues and swore i would never return
behind bars...cuz there was no strip search...no phone call...and most importantly...NO KELLER!
15 years later...the moons had aligned once again but not in my favor
unfortunately...as i was give'n a cease and desist citation fer 24 hours via TWITTER due to Mr. Kaopectate 2019...Lindsay Graham...gett'n all butt hurt and report'n me to the TWITTER police over a tweet i sent that colostomitic twat
it was the roughest 24 hrs that i hadda zip my lip...lemme tell you kittens!
it wouldn't be but a mere 5 days later and the cries from social media
could be heard all the way from Boise to Bermuda the other weekend
could be heard all the way from Boise to Bermuda the other weekend
where oh where is the unintentionally internationally unknown perform'n illusionist of her own universe and why hasn't she responded to our desperate requests fer a comment or 2?
turns out i didn't learn my lesson and ended up in FB jail fer 3 whole days
thanx to some bored fuckless repuglicunts feel'n inadequate and unimportant at their knitt'n club with nothing to contribute to the weekly conversation
BUTT...lemme explain!
so this one guy...who i won't bother name'n since i don't wanna further his
insanity cause just to become the next you-tube sedation (you can watch his explosive diarrhea here to get where i'm come'n from) with his mental rant was in regards to the youngest offspring of the current mentally deranged lie'n corrupt sack of cheeeto dusted pig shit disgrace'n the planet and him bein' referenced in the testimony
by professor of law at Stanford...PAMELA S KARLAN...who merely suggested a play on words with british nobility and his son's name...and DID NOT suggest ANYTHING else...contrary to the mouth flappers assessment of her testimony...and the many responses left by oblivious lobotomized repuglicunts
well...after view'n said video...i was bored in bed and wait'n fer my muffins
to cool off after beat'n the batter to oblivion and merely laid out my defense in professor Kaplan's defense...not that she needed it mind you!
in order to protect their anonymity...all last names have been removed
but make no mistake...what i said was complete irrefutable facts...i was deal'n with obvious brain dead lobotomized repuglicunts who believe facts are like their fuckless nites...a nuisance and unnecessary at this point in their life
from many birth announcements to many birthday celebrations
and the million meme posts flood'n my FB feed regard'n that damn loud mouthed real house wife's breakdown and the white pissy pussy cat...that i still don't fuck'n get at all...and everything in between...I COULDN'T RESPOND OR REACT TO A DAMN THING!
i was goin thru complete withdrawal and there was no amount of methadone that was gonna make it any better...i would just have to slowly suffer thru it completely alone
by day 3...the sun had risen...the birds where sing'n...and my fingers were
like banshees in a bushfire...delightfully tap dance'n away...respond'n to numerous backed up posts that my FB stalkers were so desperately wait'n patiently for...throw'n out likes and dislikes as fast as i could and all was finally good in the world once again
of course leave it to the lobotomized brain dead right to be completely
mum when it came to that mentally deranged lie'n corrupt sack of cheeeto dusted pig shit disgrace'n the planet a week later...tweet'n his bitter contemptuous jealousy all cuz he wasn't the covergirl fer TIME magazine that was bequeathed to Swedish kick ass teenage environmental activist GRETA THUNBERG
so if there was one thing i learned to take away from my time away from
social media post'n...and that is...WHY THE FUCK WASN'T I OFFERED A PROPER 80's GLAMOUR MUG SHOT SESSION LIKE MY LAST INCARCERATION? (hmmm...me thinks there's a market fer that...dont'cha think?) oh well...happy holiglaze
now GET OFF MY DRESS!
No comments:
Post a Comment