Fancy a Nancy

picture it kittens...the year was 1966...and the daughter of old blue eyes

was burn'n up the charts and stepp'n on hearts with her international go-go hit "THESE BOOTS ARE MADE FOR WALKING" by NANCY SINATRA

(though my BOY punk'd it up a notch and made a killa remake many moons later you have to admit)

although i considered myself a bit of an under cover sleuth at times...

no one was as good at crack'n the case better than 70's teenage detective Nancy Drew...played by Pamela Sue Martin...on the popular series "THE HARDY BOYS/NANCY DREW MYSTERIES" that ran fer 3 suspiciously cautious years in the late 70's on sunday nites @ 7pm (6pm central)

once the 80's rolled around...the only NANCY i was worried about was...

bein' threatened by a molest'n murderous boogeyman from her dreams thanx to her parents and their bridge club...in the killer thriller "A NIGHTMARE ON ELM STREET" that she would unfortunately succumb to by the 3rd installment

though the only real NANCY that i listened to durin' the era of big hair...

big shoulder pads and even a bigger deficit at the time...was occupy'n the WH...and grilled into me on a daily basis (thanx to my sweet tooth) when she discretely stamped the inside flaps of my fav-o-rit confectionery delights Mike & Ike's and JuJu Fruits...with her message of "JUST SAY NO!" when it came to narcotics...and you know...to this day...it still sticks

if i wanna get high...i'll add another inch to my heels!

by the time the new century began...everyone was glued to those lustful

"nancies" on showtimes hit series about over the top love and numerous under cover lovers fer 5 tumultuous years

BUTT (of course you know there would be)

no other NANCY on the planet has commanded my heartfelt gratitude 

and the globes admiration along with their attention more than the one and only speaker of the house...NANCY PELOSI...just in time fer christmas...when she recently added the final ingredients to begin bake'n an impeachment pie in honor of the mentally deranged lie'n corrupt sack of bloated cheeto dusted pig shit disgrace'n the planet

it started earlier this year...when she threw shade at the mentally deranged lie'n corrupt sack of bloated cheeto dusted pig shit disgrace'n the planet try'n to sound coherent at the state of the onion address he gave (and no i didn't not spell it wrong...cuz it was a compete tear jerk'n joke when he spoke)

by october...NANCY was at it once again...by fry'n up a back hand sammich to that mentally deranged lie'n corrupt sack of bloated cheeto dusted pig shit disgrace'n the planet and served it to him with her cold steady stare and her poignant pointer as he sat there and made a deposit in his DEPENDS

and though she said it with a heavy heart...just last week as an early xmas prezzie fer the planet...she gave the all go ahead fer the articles of impeachment as laid out in the Constitution...when she stepped down and exited the podium...NANCY ended up ripp'n off the tiny testicles of this egregious ejaculate'n jackass...

and sexually depraved "reporter" that was fired from FOX...James Rosen... who so desperately wanted to be the elephant in the room...got his balls shoved down his seething throat when he tried to twist NANCY's reason'n to begin impeachment proceed'ns by ask'n if she hates the president...to which she returned to the podium...

 fer that audacious odium...with her biggest bitch slap "DON'T MESS WITH ME"

all i gotta say is...much like you don't fuck with a bull or you'll get the horns...the same rules apply to with NANCY (and me fer that matter)

so GET OFF MY DRESS!